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Thanks it's good to hear that. I actually did talk to a few friends about it and most of them were grossed out, but a few of them said europeans do it all the time and between that and what I see about it online it made me worried about being a prude.
Hi, European (French) here, far from a prude, and I would also be as uncomfortable as you are.
You don't want to be naked and you don't want to be exposed to anyone's naked body. That's more than fine. That's what consent is all about. The fact they are acting cold and disappointed is super weird and manipulative.
I think though that in France it’s way more rare than in other countries. While there are naturists beaches and camps in France I think it’s not too common. Another example is sauna for instance in France I believe in saunas people are not naked when in Germany or Finland sauna are almost all the time naked, there may be some days / time where you can wear a bathing suit but the norm is naked. So within europe there’s lots of differences between countries.
German here. We have designated nudist areas in some public spaces and are generally naked in saunas, but even with that in mind, OP isn't the AH. I stopped going to the sauna with my parents when I was a teen and even as an adult now, the thought of going to a nudist resort wouldn't even attempt to figure out a way to cross my mind.
As another German (or more specifically East-German, with the whole nudist movement in the GDR etc):
My grandparents went to nude beaches a lot (and most kids here will be going to the beach naked for the first couple of years or only have clothes for sun-protection regardless of whether clothes are optional) and it wasn't uncommon to occasionally see fully nude people on the non-nude beach, my mother and my grandmother often suntanned naked on the balcony or topless on the beach, my mother never really made a big deal of changing in front of me or anything, I never really had much of a problem with nudity in that sense - until I got to my teenage years. And that's true for *lots* of teens even in Germany, even in the regions where nudity is super accepted. And that's just.. a thing. Teenagers are oftentimes uncomfortable with their bodies even in the most accepting environments. Their bodies change, they become attracted to peers, there's a whole lot going on. Most people accept teenagers wearing normal swimwear even on nude beaches (at least in my neck of the woods).
I "rediscovered" nudity in my 20s and I'm relatively cool with being in the nude nowadays, as are a lot of my friends (not all of them, not even the majority of my peers fwiw), but I don't think this would be true if anyone in my family would've made a big deal about it. You can't force peeps into nudism ffs
Oh you're right, it's not that common in France compared to other European countries. I've come across a handful naturist beaches without looking for them so it is a thing, just not very common. I haven't heard anyone freaking out about them though. And yeah saunas are clothed.
I was just trying to reassure OP that he's not a prude :')
I don’t think so I went there and didn’t see one single naturist. Unless you specifically go to the naturist part you won’t see nude people walking around. There’s naturists camps and beaches but to say the whole town is devoted to nudity it is imho a big stretch. The naturists parts are normally separated from the rest.
Are the saunas mixed sex though?
I’m in the US and have a local Korean spa (jjimjilbang) that I often visit. The baths and saunas are single sex but require nudity and they give you short pajamas to wear in the mixed sex areas.
I know there are people who aren’t comfortable being naked even in the single sex areas so it’s not a good fit for them - but a naturist resort would expect mixed sex nudity - so I’m not sure saunas or bathing spas are a good comparison.
Went to a couple of the swim places in Germany in the 90’s. The only people nude were some of the much older women. Everyone else had a swimsuit. Just my personal limited experience.
NTA, noone has the right to pressure you to get naked nor to have to see your family (or anyone else) naked. I am European as well, (Swede) and I wouldn't even consider someone prude for not wanting to participate in what you describe. It disturbs me that they don't fully respect your wish.
CONSENT! You hit the nail right on the head (American saying). If YOU don't want to, YOU don't have to. No matter the reason, no matter the logic of the other parties, YOU don't want to. And that's enough for me and it should be enough for your parent, spouse, and sister.
German here, and often naked in the company of others - sauna, beach etc.
My best friend's parents, for example, were always naked when we were on holiday together and on their boat. So I also know the "cross-age" nudity.
And I'll tell you one thing: in Germany, too, it's completely okay if you don't want to be naked. And "nudist camps" and holiday resorts are quite common, but definitely not the norm, and there's still a huge difference between being naked on the beach or in the sauna - or (like in one of these camps) being naked all the time, everywhere and doing everything. You really have to be comfortable with that. And many people are not. I wouldn't really feel comfortable with such a holiday either and as I said - I am often naked 😅
NTA
Card carrying ( a.a.n.r) nudist here and teens are especially not pressed to be nude at the clubs I've been to. Most are " clothing optional" if it's cold yeah you will see folks in robes and such hanging out uf they ate not on the sauna or pool. I can't wait to get this cast off so u can get in a decent jacuzzi or sauna again
Dude no I’m European and you could not pay me money to be naked in front of my bio parents, never even mind stepparents. Hard pass. This is a very reasonable boundary and they have no right to be giving you a hard time.
I'm an American with European spouse, and we've lived with our 3 kids in both the US and Europe (currently Europe).
In general Europeans are a bit more relaxed about nudity than Americans. But there's a huge difference between being comfortable if someone quickly changes their bathing suit at the beach without hiding their bits, or being naked at a sauna and full-on naturalism. There are people here who do that, but it's a really small set of people. It's not super common.
And even if it was "European" does not automatically mean "better." You get to decide what you're comfortable with, and pushing you into something like this, even if it's only via subtle guilt isn't ok.
NTA.
You’re American, that comes with a certain level of cultural prudishness (coming from another American). You’ve already said you aren’t shaming them, you just don’t want to partake. No AH behavior on your part whatsoever.
My (Dutch) town has a nude beach.
Never felt the need to go. Well, except as a curious child when my sister and me walked over. Was mostly old people sun bathing. Wasn't anything special plus the swimming pool also had a few topless women sometimes (they drew the line at full nudity there).
Nudity isn't something to be ashamed of, but it also isn't the norm and it's unfair to pressure someone into it. No means no and your parents are being dicks to you.
The LAST people I would be naked in front of would be my parents. I don't care if people think I'm a prude. It's not happening. Don't worry and don't ever let anyone make you do something you're not comfortable with.
Dutch here, not a prude, just a private person, i remember when my aunt and uncle took me to the nudist beach when I was 17, i was in my bathing suit, i turned to look at something (not a person) and i saw a 60+ year old man with a big belly running down the beach with his thingymabob bouncing wildly around below the bellyhood (not fat shaming here, it made the entire visual just more uncomfortable cuz how “it” flopped around below the belly)
Im 42 now and I still shudder at the image in my head 😅😅
NTA its wild to me how oblivious adults can be about teens and nudity, its the least likely time for someone to be comfortable with casual nudity, their disappointment is NOT understandable and you have the right to decide if you want to be seen naked and see others naked
For someone who claimed he wouldnt pressure his naturism on you he certainly is doing a bad job of it
"but a few of them said europeans do it all the time" .. SOME Europeans do it all the time. Many don't.
And everybody is free not to do it. YOUR BODY; YOUR CHOICE.
You should NEVER be forced to get naked against your will. Simply refuse.
It's ok for something to be not part of your culture. (Some) Europeans do it all the time, sure, but that's not your culture. You're not judging people who do it, you just don't want to do it yourself. That's ok! 😊
European here - we don't do it all all the time.
And come on I don't want to see my naked relatives.
Your "super modern" stepdad can xx off.
No is a full sentence.
NTA
It’s common in some countries in Europe but not all. We went to Germany with a school exchange (from the UK) and one of the trips was to a health complex with a sauna.
It was super awkward for some of us.
You’re totally NTA.
European here - Portugal- most people I know would be unconfortable being naked around other people. I would for sure!
You'r not european anyway... so You do you. Your body, your rules!
German here, we have a long tradition of this "culture", but even to us it's not the norm. I d say that the majority isnt phased by any naked ppl walking around but wouldnt participate whatsoever.
Also,you- especially as underaged kid- shouldn't be forced to do anything like that if you dont want to. I find that highly inappropriate. To guilt trip you now is absolutely messed up and speaks volumes about the lack of maturity of your mom and step dad regarding this topic.
NTA
Also even if you ARE a prude (you're not), who cares? If you're not comfortable with it, you're not comfortable with it. What's next -- you're not comfortable having sex with someone, they call you a prude, so you have to do it? No way! You can have boundaries that are different than other people's boundaries, you can draw the line somewhere other than where they draw it. That's completely fine and you should consider this good practice for learning to enforce boundaries in the future.
‘All the time’ is quite a stretch. Some people are into it, and there are areas same as what you describe - but it’s definitely a minority.
I’m European, and although I’m happy to change/shower with other women at eg the gym - I’d never be okay with being nude around men
Hi, european here, South east, but I have been to many countries and that is not a thing we do all the time. At all. There are nudist beaches, but 99% or more people would never visit, let alone make it a family thing.
That is a stereotipe, and your thoughts are completely common and valid.
"He told us...he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it"
"They are both very disappointed in me"
You are NTA; your parents, however, are. Acting disappointed in you for not wanting to walk around in nothing but towels in front of strangers is \*\*very much\*\* "trying to get you into it." This trip should've been presented as an \*opportunity,\* not an obligation. Your parents need to understand that acting disappointed in a seventeen year old who wants to maintain their physical privacy is NOT OKAY.
I bet if the resort were told that a family is trying to "convince" their seventeen year old to go to the resort against their wishes would not be okay with this, either. Nudist resorts are typically very strict on everyone being there because they WANT to be there.
The family-oriented ones tend to have a lot of young kids. Toddlers can be hard to get into swimsuits anyway and they certainly don't care, so they can be an appealing option for a family looking for quiet, nature-oriented activities. Especially since the family-oriented places will be cabins, this can be a cheaper way to vacation than a hotel-based resort.
Edit: Obviously a lot more awkward for a teen than a toddler and I'm surprised the parents are pushing it. Teens will be pretty rare I think, and even into tween years I think a lot of kids would start to object.
Making sure the toddler is safe doesn’t really have anything to do with how dressed they are, someone who would do something horrible to them would most likely do so regardless of how clothed they are.
> and he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it, he thought that was a line that should not be crossed.
He lied about not attempting to get you into it.
> it's a naturist resort. It's "Clothing optional" but that means you can really only wear a towel in common areas and you have to be naked in the pools.
So, not clothing optional. Towels fall off and aren't clothing.
> Stepdad tried to explain that's what the towels are for "Awkward teens"
Doesn't solve anything if you have to be around other people who are nude and aren't allowed to wear more than a towel.
> He won't force me or punish me for not going, at my mothers insistance, but they are both very dissapointed in me.
This is him trying to force you into naturism. This sounds like he was going to outright force you into if mom didn't step in. He crossed the line he said he wouldn't cross. NTA
And you and your sister minors, so this can easily be turned into a legal issue.
>Stepdad tried to explain that's what the towels are for "Awkward teens"
I'm sorry, but the stepdad is so damn creepy. He's encouraging his stepchildren, **who are minors**, to expose themselves to him and strangers. Disgusting.
I feel crazy because no other comments are seeing it that way! I had all my alarm bells going off that this step dad is so insistent that the whole family goes. Like it could be awesome for him and the mom but the kids really don't need to be included, just adds a whole ick factor for me.
Had to scroll A LOT to find someone pointing how creepy is that stepdad wants stepson (17) and stepdaughter (15) naked or just covered in a towel.
I'm all about beign free and living your life however you want, but parading your 15yo (step)pdaughter nude in public is just a pedop\*\*ile magnet.
It’s honestly so far past the line that I think OP could shut this down by threatening to talk to CPS. “I pressured my teen step child to be naked in front of me and others” is likely a chargeable offense.
NTA - You don’t want to show your body to others. You don’t want to see other people’s naked bodies. That’s your body, your choice, and your consent to if you decide to be in an area where other people will be nude.
The fact that it sounds like your stepdad apparently would’ve forced or punished you had your mom not stepped in? Very strange and downright disturbing behavior on his part. Do not be pressured to do *anything* with your body that you aren’t 100% and enthusiastically comfortable with, no matter who that pressure is coming from.
EDIT: Wait, would this resort be mixed in terms of gender *and* ages, like minors with adults? That seems *highly* unethical and dangerous. Do not go to this. This is concerning.
No, I explained that badly. My stepdad never said he would, it's just my mom said "Don't worry we won't force you to do anything if it will make you THIS uncomfortable"
Well, he at least gets the “not as big of a jerk as you could have been” award. Which in his case isn’t saying much…The quiet ostracizing of you that he and the rest of the family are doing is another form of pressure, trying to whittle you down until you give in. This just isn’t okay behavior from an adult to a minor (heck, it wouldn’t be okay from an adult to another adult either).
Yeah as soon as I saw OP's age and that he and his sister are minors all I could wonder is if this resort even ALLOWS them in the door? I don't think nudism/naturism is necessarily inherently sexual but I feel like allowing minors would be a HUGE liability for the resort that they wouldn't want to open themselves up to.
Mixed age naturist resorts & beaches are the norm In my part of the USA. Naturist resorts are not common, but all the ones I am aware of have no age rules.
Yeah, after looking into it, it seems like many naturist beaches and the like are family-friendly. Which on the one hand *I get,* because being nude isn’t inherently wrong or sexual at all. But on the other hand, I could never feel comfortable bringing nude minors to a place where adult strangers are, whose intentions you can’t fully know.
Even if everyone present if not a predator, just the possibility of subjecting a minor to that, even unknowingly, is enough for me to think that the idea is concerning and dangerous.
NTA
it is a huge red flag that your stepfather is trying to bring you and your sister, both underage, to a nudist retreat. Your mom is bonkers for going along with this.
So clearly the lines he fed you about “not doing it in front of you” and “wouldn’t attempt to get you into it” were lies.
And the fact that they’re all being cold and acting disappointed is fucked up. It is 100% okay that you’re not comfortable doing this. They should NOT be acting like this to try and force you into agreeing. And the fact that he’s only not punishing you over this at your moms insistence??? Wtf??
OP I would talk to a teach or a trusted adult and tell them that your stepdad is attempting to force/ shame you into going on a nudist retreat that you are absolutely not comfortable with.
NTA. I'm not very comfortable at nudist resorts either, and I'm a grown adult who is totally confidant in my own body. I just don't really want to see everyone else's body, and that's fine! I'm sorry that your mother and sister are being cold to you; you don't deserve that.
You say your step-dad doesn't want to pressure anyone into this. Do you feel like *he* would talk to your mom and sis about how they're treating you, if you asked? No one evangelizes so hard as a new convert, and it sounds like your mom and sis are in that mindset: that they want you to join in order to validate their choice.
I did tal to him once a few days after he said basically That he couldn't help that they were upset with me, but that since they weren't harrasing me or saying anything nasty he really couldn't blame them. He's upset too he's just hiding it better.
Wow, ok, my opinion of him is rapidly worsening.
I'm so sorry you're being put through this. If you want to try one more time, you could explain to them all that you're never going to come around to their new hobby if they're constantly sulking at you about it. They're tainting the entire topic by making it awful for you.
It’s so strange that he’s upset with your honesty in not wanting to be part of this lifestyle. I would have expected more of an acceptance, considering that many naturalists feel I accepted? Don’t let them or your sister guilt you into doing something you don’t want to consent to.
NTA they’re acting like you’re refusing to be apart of your stepdad’s innocent hobby like fishing or baseball, not getting naked in front of your stepCHILDREN that are MINORS. I can’t believe this place even allows children. Seems super weird
> He was open that he wouldn't do it in front of us, and he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it, he thought that was a line that should not be crossed
>He and our mom sat us down and explained that it's a naturist resort.
These two things do not go together. The family trip being to a nudist resort is **absolutely** attempting to get you into it, and he **will** be practicing his nudism in front of you and your sister if you go. He broke his promise.
> He won’t force me or punish me for not going … but they are both very disappointed in me.
They are absolutely punishing you for not wanting to go. Your mom and stepdad have repeatedly broken their promises - about not being nudist around you, about not trying to get you into it, and now about not punishing you for not going on their nudist vacation. This behaviour of theirs (breaking their promises and trying to guilt you into doing something with your body that you are uncomfortable with) is disgusting and dishonest and I am sorry they are making you feel like you are in the wrong.
NTA. It is perfectly reasonable to not want to go to a nudist resort with your parents, even if you were 100% down with the idea of being a nudist in private or when you are living on your own.
Might be different if it was a thing the whole family had done from the time the kids were born. They'd have a different idea about nudity and sexuality. But a stepdad bringing it into the family when the kids are teenagers who were not raised naturists and then trying to make a family trip out of a naturist resort? More than kinda awkward. That's a "mom and stepdad" kind of trip, IMO, and I have nothing against nudity or naturism as a general practice. I worry about the other people at the resort, especially since one child is already uncomfortable. Some naturists are also creeps too.
That said, I've never been at a nudist beach or naturist resort where they required you to take your clothes off and only wear a towel. I'm not a naturist, So I wore clothes the whole time I was at both places. Lots of people out in the sun wearing big t-shirts and caftans to keep the sun from burning their sensitive bits.
Totally agree…though I still wouldn’t want my underage kids wandering around at an event like that. Myself on the other hand…absolutely. I love being naked.
I honestly wouldn't go to that kind of event if there were gonna be kids. All of the places I went were adults only and clothing optional. I don't wanna be where there are naked children. Certainly wouldn't take kids with me. I couldn't care less about adult nudity anywhere there aren't kids, as long as no one is touching me.
NTA
It's something you're not comfortable with and that's perfectly okay. Your parents being disappointed that you don't want to be around a bunch of naked people seems strange.
No shade on Naturists. But they can't expect others to be as comfortable and open as they are.
NTA
My Dad's side of the family grew up in that way and my Grandma on his side lived full time in a nudist camp until she died. There's nothing wrong with it, IMO, but it's not for everyone and definitely NOT something to push off on you.
ETA: Looks like commenters don't realize there are cities in the USA that have full time residences that live as nudists. Entire families. It's not a sex thing or sus in general. They don't think anything of it.
The stepdad and 15yo sister aspect is definitely sus. Men are gross about girls, not all men, but enough that you can never put it out of mind. Maybe he joined the family and posed as a nudist just to get this to happen.
I'm not defending the sted-dad at all. I think the mom is sus here too and I would not be cool with any of this personally.
I'm saying the places where families live regularly in the nude aren't suspicious in general. Being naked to them isn't something they really think about. My cousins all visit the resorts and have since they were toddlers but it's not my thing.
NTA. You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. And, as you're a guy, I imagine it would be weird af to see your family naked, especially your mom and sister. That's weird, and they shouldn't be trying to force their lifestyle on you.
So quick update: My mom and SD aren't home so I asked my sister if we could talk real quick. I explained that I simply wasn't comfortable seeing any of my family naked, nor being naked in a public place. I asked her why she was, and if SD had ever done or said anything to make hee feel pressured. She said no, she just wants to experience the lifestyle, and asked what my issue is. I told her again that the people I live with are the ones I least want to see naked. She accused me of "Wanting her to wear a hijab like an Iranian" and told me to leave her alone, so I did.
Yeah, there is quite a large difference between "I don't want to see my sister naked and I don't want my sister to see me naked" to being forced to wear head-to-toe coverings.
That’s…a really unfair, and ignorant, comparison for your sister to make. I’m glad you tried to talk to her about it, but if she’s comfortable with this then it’s best to respect it. Now if only she could respect your wishes not to do it.
Good for you! I’m glad you checked in with your sister! As a lot of people have said, there is nothing inherently wrong or sexual with naturism. However, since there are a lot of people abused by step parents, my concern was making sure this is truly an innocent trip. You seem like a good brother! And 1000% NTA!
I also would ask your dads parents if they are still involved in your life what their opinion is of stepdad taking their grandkids somewhere to be all naked together. If mom and stepdad are resisting having outside opinions, it would be very suspicious. Because if it is all innocent, then there should be no reason to keep anything a secret.
Absolutely NTA. This is so incredibly unreasonable that they would expect you to go. I’d rather be naked in front of a stranger than in front of my family of another gender.
NTA. You have every right to decide you don't want to go to a naturist resort, and most naturists (clearly not yout stepdad!) would fully respect your right to decide you didn't want to go to a naturist resort. Of course you should equally respect the right of your mom, stepdad, and sister to *be* naturists. There's no issue about minor children going to naturist beaches or resorts.
NTA.
Sorry to hear your family is not being understanding OP. I see your 17 and close to being 18 which means you well be a legal adult soon so you can go LC/NC if needed.
Not sure how bad the situation is at home but I would consider setting a counseling session with your family and find out why they’re acting so hurt that you aren’t comfortable being nude.
If the situation continue being unhealthy for you and start interfering with your day to day life, talk to somebody about what you can do maybe get out of that situation.
NTA. It’s one thing to do this as an adult, but I think it’s hugely inappropriate that your parents want to take two minor teenagers to a place where other adults will see them naked. Not to mention your stepdad seeing you both naked as well. I’m honestly amazed a place like this allows minors to come or it even being legal.
100% NTA. Your SF and Mom should be ashamed of even attempting to browbeat you into going once you stared that you are uncomfortable with it. I'm assuming the location is outside the US, as to the best of my knowledge no location in the US allows minors anywhere on the premises.
NTA. You should never feel sorry for not going along with something your aren’t comfortable with doing. Especially when it comes to being naked in front of your family and a bunch of strangers, and having to see your family entirely naked. To each their own.
NTA
Is this even real?
Your sister and you are a minor. Pretty sure this is illegal.
Please tell a trusted family member if they pressure you. I’m also worried about your sister.
NTA, I don't think minors should be involved in this. A naked child being surrounded by nude adults is just morally wrong and presumably illegal. Your mom and stepdad are weird af for wanting to include y'all. This just feels incestuous and pedophilic.
While I agree NTA and would not want to see my family nude, I just want to make clear that nudity itself is not sexual or morally wrong. Society will be a better place when we stop sexualizing the human body.
It's not illegal. My dad and his siblings were raised on nudist camps in the USA. Primarily Florida but I know there's one in Illinois too. They are probably scattered around the USA.
NTA. You have personal boundaries, and you need to stick to them.
It doesn't matter what ANYONE else thinks. You don't want to.
Again, NTA. Can't stress that enough.
NTA, you do not have to do something you are uncomfortable with.
Also where are you going that allows minors to participate with adults and WHY would your parents be ok with your 15yo sister doing this. That seems like the worst part here.
NTA. Your body your choice. You are allowed to feel uncomfortable with a situation and nor want to take part. I personally don’t think you’ve created a rift.
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> 1) Not going to a nudist resort with my family
2) I let them down and may have torn the family apart.
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NTA
So you'd be classed as a minor in the US, right?
If so, I find it pretty disturbing that they'd want to take two underage girls to a nudist resort.
Maybe I'm being a prude, but that doesn't sit well with me.
Just turn around and ask why they're so butthurt about not seeing you naked.
Honestly they can't say it's up to you on one hand and then be upset that you don't want to do that.
You haven't grown up in that environment and you don't want to try it that's absolutely ok, it's absolutely not ok for them to act coldly towards you.
I would tell them how you are disappointed in them that they would try and guilt you into not having your own autonomy and you really question how much love and respect they have for you because you don't want to see your family naked, because you wouldn't try and guilt them into doing something they were uncomfortable with.
Throw that disappointment back at them OP.
NTA - Drop the name of the resort bc places like this really shouldn't allow children. I understand that there is plenty of non-sexual nakedness in the world and that is totally fine, but it should be universally understood that your body is yours only to decide how to use it and display it. Liking clothes is not prudish in the least.
I will note that I do want shirtlessness and bralessness more normalized for women in appropriate places (as a woman myself) but pants should stay on every gender unless every single person in the place is and adult and has fully consented to genitals out.
German (49f) here.
Nudist in any shape or form (no pun intended) is nothing for me, and I most certainly would nope out of this situation as well.
NTA.
NTA
If you can't wear clothing it's not "clothing optional". I've been to a few naturist events over the years and people your age often either don't come with their families or wear clothes.
It's very normal to feel the way you do. It's not prudish to be uncomfortable; you're not trying to stop anyone else going, just setting a personal boundary.
NTA. This is very disturbing especially since you and your sister are minors. Also the last thing any boy wants you a to see anyone in his family naked. There is something really wrong with your parents for wanting to go with children.
NTA.
You should not be coerced into going anywhere that requires you to do something you aren't comfortable with.
Meanwhile, what you describe is not "clothing optional." It's "clothing prohibited."
If your stepfather wants to introduce your mother, your sister, and/or you to his lifestyle, he should start with a venue where it's okay for you to remain clothed if that's what you prefer. Him jumping straight to "towels are okay some places, but others require full nudity" makes him an AH.
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My (17M) and my sisters (15F) father died 6 years ago, and my mother remarried my stepfather two years later. He's cool, he respects us, he's not our dad but he gets that. Here's where things get weird. My stepdad is a naturist, he likes to be naked whenever he can. He told us this theree years ago. He was open that he wouldn't do it in front of us, and he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it, he thought that was a line that should not be crossed. Weird, but it's not like he tells everybody so not much changed.
This summer he wants to go on a trip. He and our mom sat us down and explained that it's a naturist resort. It's "Clothing optional" but that means you can really only wear a towel in common areas and you have to be naked in the pools. My mother was all for it, she wants to get into naturism too, and even my sistee (Ew) is exited for it.
Yes I'm American, yes I'm sure several continents think I'm a prude, but I'm simply not comfortable being nude in front of anybody, let alone my family. Stepdad tried to explain that's what the towels are for "Awkward teens" and there were actually a lot of people my age I could learn from. I said sorry but I'm not going. He won't force me or punish me for not going, at my mothers insistance, but they are both very dissapointed in me. Even my sister has been cold lately. I worry I may have opened a rift in my family.
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Um no, NTA. It’s all cool for your family to be naturists, but it’s awful for them to try and push you into this. You get to have complete control over who sees your body or not, not your family.
N T A. I lived in Germany for years. It's not as common as Americans believe it is. Also, not every European person gets naked at the first opportunity.
NTA Worst case? Sounds like your skeevy SF wants to see his step children naked and mom is pimping you out.
Best case? The are pushing you to do something you are in no way comfortable with and that would probably get them in trouble with CPS. The idea that punishing you is even an option would have me reporting them.
This is a massive red flag, NTA. You’re a minor being emotionally blackmailed into being naked in front of strangers (and your stepfather) against your will?! And your sister is underage in most jurisdictions, I’m sorry to say but it may be possible he’s groomed her and your mother. It is not normal to try to convince young people to do this.
Had a similar experience years ago with an ex and some of her family.
It was a thinly veiled excuse for older dudes to get younger people naked with them and brainwashed older women to do nothing about it.
Now, I'm not saying that's what's going on here, but the fact that you're minors is a huge red flag for me (you and your sister). You don't have to feel comfortable with this and shouldn't be made to. "Awkward teenager" is a way for them to turn the negatives back on you with convenient words and it comes across as manipulative.
If the people who love you are the ones trying to get you to compromise, reevaluate how close you are with them.
NTA - nobody has the right to pressure you into accepting a lifestyle (even for the short term of a vacation) that you don’t want or even want to try. No is a complete sentence. If your mom and step dad and sister are cool with it, then they can go do it.
NTA they're being pushy, you said no and were polite why are they giving you the cold shoulder now? If it was an invitation is because you can say no, that's how invitations work.
This is wildly inappropriate and creepy beyond words. Who takes their family, including children who are minors, to a nudist resort?? That's insane. Your step dad is creepy for even mentioning he is a nudist - especially since he said he'd never do it in front of you, so you wouldn't have the means to find out.
>but they are both very dissapointed in me
Ask them point blank: "What are you disappointed about? You \[SD\] said you wouldn't force the naturalist lifestyle on me, so why are you doing it now?"
Are they disappointed that you don't want to walk around naked in front of them and strangers? Or are they disappointed because you don't want to see your parents and strangers naked?
>Stepdad tried to explain that's what the towels are for "Awkward teens" and there were actually a lot of people my age I could learn from.
So they have a protocol for minors? I'm unfamiliar with the law here, but this is so messed up to expose children to. No sane parent would put their child through this.
Your SD is a liar forcing his lifestyle on you. Your mom wants your SD to be happy at your expense. They're teaming up to guilt you and your sister into something neither of you are comfortable with. If you cave this time, your SD will say "well you did it last time, so what's the problem now?"
This is a hill to die on, NTA
NTA nobody can force anyone to go somewhere, and I wouldn’t like to go there. It sounds to weird and I would much rather go to a normal resort than this. I can understand why parents can be disappointed when their children don’t go to events or meet ups etc. but if I was a family going here I would 100% respect this opinion because it can be super awkward and being naked in the pool? Whatever the age that’s just to weird especially with other people. I 100% respect your choice
NTA at all, you have every right to privacy, especially of your own body. Anyone else incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that a 15 year old is going to be nude in front of adults though? That is incredibly concerning…
NTA. Some people are just not comfortable naked in front of others, or seeing naked strangers. Your step father seems to kinda get that, tell the others to leave you alone (stop pressuring you) about it!
NTA, and whatever happened to *"he wouldn't do it in front of us, and he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it, he thought that was a line that should not be crossed"*? Because it sure seems like he's proposing to do it in front of you and attempting to get you into it for this vacation!
Also "clothing optional" should not mean that you only can wear a towel but you aren't allowed to wear anything in the swimming pool. It should mean exactly what it says: clothing is an option that you are allowed to choose.
Stick to your guns. I’m European and even though you see some topless women on the beaches is not nearly as common as you would imagine. Full nudity would be a no-no unless it’s a specific beach. To be quiet honest most people on the nudist beaches are old- like grandpa old so not sure about the comment that you can learn a thing or two from other teenagers. It’s a little disturbing that your mom is ok being completely nude in front of you and your sister.
Let them be cold. They can live their lives their own way and you can live it your own way. And you are 17 and soon will build a life for yourself
NTA- look I’m almost a naturalist- at least at home, I don’t think I could be naked in a public area comfortably - anyways- I really hate clothes, I also have kids, neither one of them really like to be naked. It’s their body I don’t care. I would never ever dream of forcing either of them to go on vacation where they had to get naked. They just don’t like it and I’m okay with that.
Heya European here (Irish) NTA there is no way I would be naked on a beach in front of other people that would be gross imagine seeing all older men there and then having them just look at young girls in the pool with no clothes on thats very creepy to me and they should have an age limit on that in the first place. 2nd if you feel uncomfortable that should give them enough reason and they should drop it. Let them be disappointed and cold you have every right to say no end of I have travelled and lived in spain and I would never go anywhere near a place like that❤️
American or not, awkward teen or not, you and only you can decide to part with your clothes. My parents were naturists, I was too until my teens and I waited till my 30s to think about doing it again. Sure I loved the freedom, the people around, not so much. Specially since lot of naturists spots became exhibitionists spots.
If your mom wants to do it, great for her. Same for your sister (even if curiosity and taboo probably play some roles there). But if you don't feel it, don't do it NTA.
Naturists are supposed not to judge others and juste enjoy Nature (different from the nudists), it's supposed to be a way of thinking. And they are judging you. They're not naturists. They're fake.
NTA. Don’t believe that prude nonsense. People are entitled to their level of comfort or lack of comfort with nudity. Personally I don’t think its cool that the sister is going to do it with the stepfather or even you but definitely the stepfather but I don’t know….
NTA. Your stepfather, mother, and sister are TA though for trying to pressure you into someone you have openly expressed discomfort with.
I have multiple thoughts regarding this post. First would be does anyone else get some majorly weird vibes from this? OPs family trying to gaslight him into being naked around them and strangers feels too much like what you see predators do to their victims.
Also think sister might not have thought this through. The resort might seem fun because it's different, but she might feel really different once she's expected to disrobe in front of her family and a bunch of strangers. I don't think 15 is a really good age to be getting into this. Also, kids can be cruel. I know if a knowledge of a girl going to a nudist resort would've been made public when I was in school, it would've made waves and sadly made that girl a target. It'd be even worse if they knew she went with her stepdad. From the outside looking in, it just feels wrong.
OP, if I were you, if their attitude towards you doesn't improve soon or it gets worse, I would reach out to a grandparent or maybe a guidance counselor at school because what they're doing to you is wrong. You're allowed to feel this way. You're not saying you don't agree with naturalism, you just don't want any part of it which is your right. It may be necessary to go stay with a relative or a trusted friend if things don't get better. You're old enough to know what you're not comfortable with and they can't make you do this.
Frankly, that's just weird. You're all minors first of all, it's weird to want to bring your minor children to a nudist resort and honestly sounds like child endangerment. I would personally never allow my underage children to do something like that.
Second, why would they be upset with you for not wanting to get naked in front of them/see them naked? You have a right to your privacy, you have a right to consent, and they can't take that away from you.
I'd tell them that making you feel bad for not wanting to expose yourself to them and strangers is downright odd behavior. And calling you an "awkward teenager" for not wanting to do it is just adding insult to injury.
If my parents or stepparents ever tried to make me do something like that I'd be uncomfortable being around them in general. I get them wanting to do it for themselves but trying to persuade their children into going? Very questionable behavior with questionable intentions.
NTA your mother and stepfather have no right to pressure you into adopting a lifestyle you don’t agree with.
Moreover you have a right to live in a home free of nudity, specially if the nudity comes from an unrelated adult.
If at any time you feel pressure or your SF exposes you to nudity you should get support. School counselling , trusted teacher, a relative are some low profile people that can be your allies, if that doesn’t work you can call the non emergency number of the police or local children services are there to have your back.
I'm pretty sure child protective services would have concerns about minor teens at a nudist vacation spot. I'm really surprised people under 18 are even allowed in the first place. NTA
Nta
Look into the laws of that country the resort is in. You and your sister are still minors. Being naked in a nudist beach or resort is illegal in most places. Tell a trusted adult. I would be Weirded out too especially in front of a stepparent.
I'm from a way more naturalist friendly country, we are nude in the Sauna and so on. But I still think if someone doesn't feel comfortable they shouldn't go, and that is perfectly OK. Give them time, they will get over it.
first off you are NTA for not wanting to go ,
most places I know of would be ok with you wearing swim trunks so maybe having a calm discussion that you are not comfortable with it and don't want to cause a rift in the family and see if some sort of compromise can be reached like shorts under the towel,or if the issue is others being nude explain that there is nothing wrong with them being naked but you have no desire to see your mom and sisters vag or any strangers dangly bits . but seriously have them contact the resort and see if any compromise can be made I'm sure this isn't the first time a place has had this issue,but most of all remain calm and try not to be embarrassed in any discussion
NTA
This is a perfectly valid boundary. I consider myself sex-positive, body/nudity-positive, not at all prudish, etc… and this would still be a hard no for me.
If it were my *friends* then I’d consider it, but a parent, step parent, and sibling? As a teen no less? Heck no. Not even just the discomfort of being naked around them, but I wouldn’t want to see *them* naked.
You get to decline and nobody can shame you for that
Been to a naturist camp. Them saying you have to go nude is horseshit. No you absolutely do not have to be nude. Maybe they have hygiene rules for the pools, idk, but aside from the pools there is zero reason to force anyone to be naked who doesn't want to be. I've never heard of a naturist camp making people be naked when they don't want to be. That's a no go.
Definitely NTA. If you don't want to get naked in front of others or see other people naked that's your right. At 17 you're old enough to stay at home alone. They have to respect your choice. You could just as well judge them for their bizarre idea of going there but you don't so they should do the same for you. By the way I saw you mentionned Europeans, I'm French and no Europeans don't do that and are generally grossed out too by naturists.
NTA. I’m concerned for your 15 year old sister being naked around other adults, especially your step father. When she’s 18 years old she can go. But at 15? That seems young to be naked around other naked people of all ages. No one should force you to do something you don’t want to do. Are any other relatives aware of step father’s enjoyment of nudist camps? What are the laws in your area about naked fifteen year old girls? Are your other relatives aware about your young sister joining this type of vacation?
NTA - that would be crazy for anyone to judge you for not wanting to be nude in front of other people.
I could be way off base here and I’m not making any accusations but i do find it a bit suspicious that he is shifting his attitude away from not doing it in front of you/not attempt to get you guys into it now that your sister is 15. Maybe it’s just my personal experiences talking but that gives me a gross feeling.
That's a really harsh response from your sister. It sounds like she's way past the point of being curious about the naturist lifestyle and has become a hardline apologist for it. It's very offensive that she's comparing herself with women who are actually being oppressed when all you did was check that she wasn't being pressured by your mom and step dad.
NTA, big time.
Your stepdad may have been cool before, but now he's being an asshole, because he's going back on his word that he wouldn't force his lifestyle on you. And now he's recruited your mom and sister to help him out.
Their level of disappointment and the pressure they're putting on you is disturbing. Why should it be such a big deal if they go and you stay home? I'll tell you why: because they want to be naked ALL the time, at home, and this trip was supposed to break down your barriers to that. Even if you get past this vacation nonsense, I would expect it to keep coming up. I wouldn't be surprised if the first time you come home from college, you'll find them all practicing this at home and they'll tell you tough luck, that's the way it is now.
So stay strong! Refuse to go on the vacation. Make it clear that if they attempt to practice this in your home while you're still living there, you will tell the entire world about it, authorities included, and that it's being done without your consent.
Good luck!
Should the guy your mom married really be taking her 15 year old daughter out to get naked for him?
NTA, and this is all messed up. Naturalism is for adults who have the mental maturity to make their own decisions, not random teenagers whose stepdads have been grooming them
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NTA no one has any right to pressure you into being naked when you’re uncomfortable with it, full stop, end of story, every time
Thanks it's good to hear that. I actually did talk to a few friends about it and most of them were grossed out, but a few of them said europeans do it all the time and between that and what I see about it online it made me worried about being a prude.
Hi, European (French) here, far from a prude, and I would also be as uncomfortable as you are. You don't want to be naked and you don't want to be exposed to anyone's naked body. That's more than fine. That's what consent is all about. The fact they are acting cold and disappointed is super weird and manipulative.
I think though that in France it’s way more rare than in other countries. While there are naturists beaches and camps in France I think it’s not too common. Another example is sauna for instance in France I believe in saunas people are not naked when in Germany or Finland sauna are almost all the time naked, there may be some days / time where you can wear a bathing suit but the norm is naked. So within europe there’s lots of differences between countries.
German here. We have designated nudist areas in some public spaces and are generally naked in saunas, but even with that in mind, OP isn't the AH. I stopped going to the sauna with my parents when I was a teen and even as an adult now, the thought of going to a nudist resort wouldn't even attempt to figure out a way to cross my mind.
As another German (or more specifically East-German, with the whole nudist movement in the GDR etc): My grandparents went to nude beaches a lot (and most kids here will be going to the beach naked for the first couple of years or only have clothes for sun-protection regardless of whether clothes are optional) and it wasn't uncommon to occasionally see fully nude people on the non-nude beach, my mother and my grandmother often suntanned naked on the balcony or topless on the beach, my mother never really made a big deal of changing in front of me or anything, I never really had much of a problem with nudity in that sense - until I got to my teenage years. And that's true for *lots* of teens even in Germany, even in the regions where nudity is super accepted. And that's just.. a thing. Teenagers are oftentimes uncomfortable with their bodies even in the most accepting environments. Their bodies change, they become attracted to peers, there's a whole lot going on. Most people accept teenagers wearing normal swimwear even on nude beaches (at least in my neck of the woods). I "rediscovered" nudity in my 20s and I'm relatively cool with being in the nude nowadays, as are a lot of my friends (not all of them, not even the majority of my peers fwiw), but I don't think this would be true if anyone in my family would've made a big deal about it. You can't force peeps into nudism ffs
Oh you're right, it's not that common in France compared to other European countries. I've come across a handful naturist beaches without looking for them so it is a thing, just not very common. I haven't heard anyone freaking out about them though. And yeah saunas are clothed. I was just trying to reassure OP that he's not a prude :')
But France has a whole town devoted to nudity. Cap d'Agde
I don’t think so I went there and didn’t see one single naturist. Unless you specifically go to the naturist part you won’t see nude people walking around. There’s naturists camps and beaches but to say the whole town is devoted to nudity it is imho a big stretch. The naturists parts are normally separated from the rest.
Are the saunas mixed sex though? I’m in the US and have a local Korean spa (jjimjilbang) that I often visit. The baths and saunas are single sex but require nudity and they give you short pajamas to wear in the mixed sex areas. I know there are people who aren’t comfortable being naked even in the single sex areas so it’s not a good fit for them - but a naturist resort would expect mixed sex nudity - so I’m not sure saunas or bathing spas are a good comparison.
Went to a couple of the swim places in Germany in the 90’s. The only people nude were some of the much older women. Everyone else had a swimsuit. Just my personal limited experience.
NTA, noone has the right to pressure you to get naked nor to have to see your family (or anyone else) naked. I am European as well, (Swede) and I wouldn't even consider someone prude for not wanting to participate in what you describe. It disturbs me that they don't fully respect your wish.
>That's what consent is all about. THIS!!!!!
CONSENT! You hit the nail right on the head (American saying). If YOU don't want to, YOU don't have to. No matter the reason, no matter the logic of the other parties, YOU don't want to. And that's enough for me and it should be enough for your parent, spouse, and sister.
German here, and often naked in the company of others - sauna, beach etc. My best friend's parents, for example, were always naked when we were on holiday together and on their boat. So I also know the "cross-age" nudity. And I'll tell you one thing: in Germany, too, it's completely okay if you don't want to be naked. And "nudist camps" and holiday resorts are quite common, but definitely not the norm, and there's still a huge difference between being naked on the beach or in the sauna - or (like in one of these camps) being naked all the time, everywhere and doing everything. You really have to be comfortable with that. And many people are not. I wouldn't really feel comfortable with such a holiday either and as I said - I am often naked 😅 NTA
Card carrying ( a.a.n.r) nudist here and teens are especially not pressed to be nude at the clubs I've been to. Most are " clothing optional" if it's cold yeah you will see folks in robes and such hanging out uf they ate not on the sauna or pool. I can't wait to get this cast off so u can get in a decent jacuzzi or sauna again
... is it bad that my first thought was "where is the card carried in this case?"
Dude no I’m European and you could not pay me money to be naked in front of my bio parents, never even mind stepparents. Hard pass. This is a very reasonable boundary and they have no right to be giving you a hard time.
I'm an American with European spouse, and we've lived with our 3 kids in both the US and Europe (currently Europe). In general Europeans are a bit more relaxed about nudity than Americans. But there's a huge difference between being comfortable if someone quickly changes their bathing suit at the beach without hiding their bits, or being naked at a sauna and full-on naturalism. There are people here who do that, but it's a really small set of people. It's not super common. And even if it was "European" does not automatically mean "better." You get to decide what you're comfortable with, and pushing you into something like this, even if it's only via subtle guilt isn't ok. NTA.
European here, and no, consent is still a thing here.
"...Europeans do it all the time". News to me!
You’re American, that comes with a certain level of cultural prudishness (coming from another American). You’ve already said you aren’t shaming them, you just don’t want to partake. No AH behavior on your part whatsoever.
My (Dutch) town has a nude beach. Never felt the need to go. Well, except as a curious child when my sister and me walked over. Was mostly old people sun bathing. Wasn't anything special plus the swimming pool also had a few topless women sometimes (they drew the line at full nudity there). Nudity isn't something to be ashamed of, but it also isn't the norm and it's unfair to pressure someone into it. No means no and your parents are being dicks to you.
The LAST people I would be naked in front of would be my parents. I don't care if people think I'm a prude. It's not happening. Don't worry and don't ever let anyone make you do something you're not comfortable with.
Dutch here, not a prude, just a private person, i remember when my aunt and uncle took me to the nudist beach when I was 17, i was in my bathing suit, i turned to look at something (not a person) and i saw a 60+ year old man with a big belly running down the beach with his thingymabob bouncing wildly around below the bellyhood (not fat shaming here, it made the entire visual just more uncomfortable cuz how “it” flopped around below the belly) Im 42 now and I still shudder at the image in my head 😅😅 NTA its wild to me how oblivious adults can be about teens and nudity, its the least likely time for someone to be comfortable with casual nudity, their disappointment is NOT understandable and you have the right to decide if you want to be seen naked and see others naked For someone who claimed he wouldnt pressure his naturism on you he certainly is doing a bad job of it
"but a few of them said europeans do it all the time" .. SOME Europeans do it all the time. Many don't. And everybody is free not to do it. YOUR BODY; YOUR CHOICE. You should NEVER be forced to get naked against your will. Simply refuse.
No, europeans especially don't do it. Idk where they got that info...
UK here. Known for being massive prudes, we don't care! Who cares what others do. It's not about them, it's about you and your comfort levels.
It's ok for something to be not part of your culture. (Some) Europeans do it all the time, sure, but that's not your culture. You're not judging people who do it, you just don't want to do it yourself. That's ok! 😊
European here - we don't do it all all the time. And come on I don't want to see my naked relatives. Your "super modern" stepdad can xx off. No is a full sentence. NTA
Even if you were a prude, so what? Your feelings are valid and your feelings are that you don't want to do this. Your family should respect that.
It’s common in some countries in Europe but not all. We went to Germany with a school exchange (from the UK) and one of the trips was to a health complex with a sauna. It was super awkward for some of us. You’re totally NTA.
European here - Portugal- most people I know would be unconfortable being naked around other people. I would for sure! You'r not european anyway... so You do you. Your body, your rules!
German here, we have a long tradition of this "culture", but even to us it's not the norm. I d say that the majority isnt phased by any naked ppl walking around but wouldnt participate whatsoever. Also,you- especially as underaged kid- shouldn't be forced to do anything like that if you dont want to. I find that highly inappropriate. To guilt trip you now is absolutely messed up and speaks volumes about the lack of maturity of your mom and step dad regarding this topic. NTA
Also even if you ARE a prude (you're not), who cares? If you're not comfortable with it, you're not comfortable with it. What's next -- you're not comfortable having sex with someone, they call you a prude, so you have to do it? No way! You can have boundaries that are different than other people's boundaries, you can draw the line somewhere other than where they draw it. That's completely fine and you should consider this good practice for learning to enforce boundaries in the future.
‘All the time’ is quite a stretch. Some people are into it, and there are areas same as what you describe - but it’s definitely a minority. I’m European, and although I’m happy to change/shower with other women at eg the gym - I’d never be okay with being nude around men
Hi, european here, South east, but I have been to many countries and that is not a thing we do all the time. At all. There are nudist beaches, but 99% or more people would never visit, let alone make it a family thing. That is a stereotipe, and your thoughts are completely common and valid.
"He told us...he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it" "They are both very disappointed in me" You are NTA; your parents, however, are. Acting disappointed in you for not wanting to walk around in nothing but towels in front of strangers is \*\*very much\*\* "trying to get you into it." This trip should've been presented as an \*opportunity,\* not an obligation. Your parents need to understand that acting disappointed in a seventeen year old who wants to maintain their physical privacy is NOT OKAY. I bet if the resort were told that a family is trying to "convince" their seventeen year old to go to the resort against their wishes would not be okay with this, either. Nudist resorts are typically very strict on everyone being there because they WANT to be there.
I wasn’t even aware anyone under 18 was allowed to go to these kind of resorts and I’m kind of disgusted the parents are pushing it.
The family-oriented ones tend to have a lot of young kids. Toddlers can be hard to get into swimsuits anyway and they certainly don't care, so they can be an appealing option for a family looking for quiet, nature-oriented activities. Especially since the family-oriented places will be cabins, this can be a cheaper way to vacation than a hotel-based resort. Edit: Obviously a lot more awkward for a teen than a toddler and I'm surprised the parents are pushing it. Teens will be pretty rare I think, and even into tween years I think a lot of kids would start to object.
Maybe I'm a cynic, but I think there are too many creeps in the world to ever let a toddler be naked in public. I would be worried about their safety.
Be more worried about the 15 year-old daughter, TBH.
Making sure the toddler is safe doesn’t really have anything to do with how dressed they are, someone who would do something horrible to them would most likely do so regardless of how clothed they are.
> and he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it, he thought that was a line that should not be crossed. He lied about not attempting to get you into it. > it's a naturist resort. It's "Clothing optional" but that means you can really only wear a towel in common areas and you have to be naked in the pools. So, not clothing optional. Towels fall off and aren't clothing. > Stepdad tried to explain that's what the towels are for "Awkward teens" Doesn't solve anything if you have to be around other people who are nude and aren't allowed to wear more than a towel. > He won't force me or punish me for not going, at my mothers insistance, but they are both very dissapointed in me. This is him trying to force you into naturism. This sounds like he was going to outright force you into if mom didn't step in. He crossed the line he said he wouldn't cross. NTA And you and your sister minors, so this can easily be turned into a legal issue.
>Stepdad tried to explain that's what the towels are for "Awkward teens" I'm sorry, but the stepdad is so damn creepy. He's encouraging his stepchildren, **who are minors**, to expose themselves to him and strangers. Disgusting.
I feel crazy because no other comments are seeing it that way! I had all my alarm bells going off that this step dad is so insistent that the whole family goes. Like it could be awesome for him and the mom but the kids really don't need to be included, just adds a whole ick factor for me.
Omga yes!!! And the sister is excited?!! I just hope she isn’t groomed already
Had to scroll A LOT to find someone pointing how creepy is that stepdad wants stepson (17) and stepdaughter (15) naked or just covered in a towel. I'm all about beign free and living your life however you want, but parading your 15yo (step)pdaughter nude in public is just a pedop\*\*ile magnet.
And the OP clearly is not interested in seeing his mother, sister, and step father naked.
It’s honestly so far past the line that I think OP could shut this down by threatening to talk to CPS. “I pressured my teen step child to be naked in front of me and others” is likely a chargeable offense.
NTA - You don’t want to show your body to others. You don’t want to see other people’s naked bodies. That’s your body, your choice, and your consent to if you decide to be in an area where other people will be nude. The fact that it sounds like your stepdad apparently would’ve forced or punished you had your mom not stepped in? Very strange and downright disturbing behavior on his part. Do not be pressured to do *anything* with your body that you aren’t 100% and enthusiastically comfortable with, no matter who that pressure is coming from. EDIT: Wait, would this resort be mixed in terms of gender *and* ages, like minors with adults? That seems *highly* unethical and dangerous. Do not go to this. This is concerning.
No, I explained that badly. My stepdad never said he would, it's just my mom said "Don't worry we won't force you to do anything if it will make you THIS uncomfortable"
Well, he at least gets the “not as big of a jerk as you could have been” award. Which in his case isn’t saying much…The quiet ostracizing of you that he and the rest of the family are doing is another form of pressure, trying to whittle you down until you give in. This just isn’t okay behavior from an adult to a minor (heck, it wouldn’t be okay from an adult to another adult either).
Yeah as soon as I saw OP's age and that he and his sister are minors all I could wonder is if this resort even ALLOWS them in the door? I don't think nudism/naturism is necessarily inherently sexual but I feel like allowing minors would be a HUGE liability for the resort that they wouldn't want to open themselves up to.
Mixed age naturist resorts & beaches are the norm In my part of the USA. Naturist resorts are not common, but all the ones I am aware of have no age rules.
Yeah, after looking into it, it seems like many naturist beaches and the like are family-friendly. Which on the one hand *I get,* because being nude isn’t inherently wrong or sexual at all. But on the other hand, I could never feel comfortable bringing nude minors to a place where adult strangers are, whose intentions you can’t fully know. Even if everyone present if not a predator, just the possibility of subjecting a minor to that, even unknowingly, is enough for me to think that the idea is concerning and dangerous.
I had the same concern
"I'm simply not comfortable being nude" NTA your body your rules.
I second this response
NTA it is a huge red flag that your stepfather is trying to bring you and your sister, both underage, to a nudist retreat. Your mom is bonkers for going along with this. So clearly the lines he fed you about “not doing it in front of you” and “wouldn’t attempt to get you into it” were lies. And the fact that they’re all being cold and acting disappointed is fucked up. It is 100% okay that you’re not comfortable doing this. They should NOT be acting like this to try and force you into agreeing. And the fact that he’s only not punishing you over this at your moms insistence??? Wtf?? OP I would talk to a teach or a trusted adult and tell them that your stepdad is attempting to force/ shame you into going on a nudist retreat that you are absolutely not comfortable with.
im shocked nobody is talking about how THEY ARE MINORS and being pressured by their stepdad??? what kinda koolaid is the mom drinking??
I immediately thought "The mom has been brainwashed!"
Of all the threads where "grooming" might actually be appropriate and it's absent here? Weird. 15yo girl? C'mon.
NTA. I can’t imagine a less fun vacation and I’m no prude
NTA. I'm not very comfortable at nudist resorts either, and I'm a grown adult who is totally confidant in my own body. I just don't really want to see everyone else's body, and that's fine! I'm sorry that your mother and sister are being cold to you; you don't deserve that. You say your step-dad doesn't want to pressure anyone into this. Do you feel like *he* would talk to your mom and sis about how they're treating you, if you asked? No one evangelizes so hard as a new convert, and it sounds like your mom and sis are in that mindset: that they want you to join in order to validate their choice.
I did tal to him once a few days after he said basically That he couldn't help that they were upset with me, but that since they weren't harrasing me or saying anything nasty he really couldn't blame them. He's upset too he's just hiding it better.
Wow, ok, my opinion of him is rapidly worsening. I'm so sorry you're being put through this. If you want to try one more time, you could explain to them all that you're never going to come around to their new hobby if they're constantly sulking at you about it. They're tainting the entire topic by making it awful for you.
He’s upset he doesn’t get to his stepson naked? Friendly reminder on the statistics of stepparents
Definitely one reason you’d think SD would be more okay with OP’s decision!
Unless sf has been grooming her...
Tell him you’re disappointed in him too. Remind him he said he wouldn’t pressure you. Then tell him the subject is now permanently shut down.
Why exactly are they upset you won't go? Have you asked your mom why she wants her children at a nudist resort with her and her husband?
It’s so strange that he’s upset with your honesty in not wanting to be part of this lifestyle. I would have expected more of an acceptance, considering that many naturalists feel I accepted? Don’t let them or your sister guilt you into doing something you don’t want to consent to.
Silent treatment is also a form of emotional abuse. They’re only gonna talk to you if you do what they say? Stand your ground. NTA!
Do you have any other family that you could talk to about this? Grandparents, aunts uncles?
NTA No sane person wants to see their parents naked.
I don't even want to see myself naked.
NTA they’re acting like you’re refusing to be apart of your stepdad’s innocent hobby like fishing or baseball, not getting naked in front of your stepCHILDREN that are MINORS. I can’t believe this place even allows children. Seems super weird
No you’re not the fact ( gonna say this a nice as possible) your mom wants to take you and your sister to a nudist resort is a little weird
> He was open that he wouldn't do it in front of us, and he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it, he thought that was a line that should not be crossed >He and our mom sat us down and explained that it's a naturist resort. These two things do not go together. The family trip being to a nudist resort is **absolutely** attempting to get you into it, and he **will** be practicing his nudism in front of you and your sister if you go. He broke his promise. > He won’t force me or punish me for not going … but they are both very disappointed in me. They are absolutely punishing you for not wanting to go. Your mom and stepdad have repeatedly broken their promises - about not being nudist around you, about not trying to get you into it, and now about not punishing you for not going on their nudist vacation. This behaviour of theirs (breaking their promises and trying to guilt you into doing something with your body that you are uncomfortable with) is disgusting and dishonest and I am sorry they are making you feel like you are in the wrong. NTA. It is perfectly reasonable to not want to go to a nudist resort with your parents, even if you were 100% down with the idea of being a nudist in private or when you are living on your own.
NTA…family nudist trips just sound cringe
Might be different if it was a thing the whole family had done from the time the kids were born. They'd have a different idea about nudity and sexuality. But a stepdad bringing it into the family when the kids are teenagers who were not raised naturists and then trying to make a family trip out of a naturist resort? More than kinda awkward. That's a "mom and stepdad" kind of trip, IMO, and I have nothing against nudity or naturism as a general practice. I worry about the other people at the resort, especially since one child is already uncomfortable. Some naturists are also creeps too. That said, I've never been at a nudist beach or naturist resort where they required you to take your clothes off and only wear a towel. I'm not a naturist, So I wore clothes the whole time I was at both places. Lots of people out in the sun wearing big t-shirts and caftans to keep the sun from burning their sensitive bits.
Totally agree…though I still wouldn’t want my underage kids wandering around at an event like that. Myself on the other hand…absolutely. I love being naked.
I honestly wouldn't go to that kind of event if there were gonna be kids. All of the places I went were adults only and clothing optional. I don't wanna be where there are naked children. Certainly wouldn't take kids with me. I couldn't care less about adult nudity anywhere there aren't kids, as long as no one is touching me.
I’m with you on that one
So why is it now a line that he’s willing to cross? Seems sus to me but I’m also American. So, yeah, we’ve got our hangups. Whatever. NTA
NTA It's something you're not comfortable with and that's perfectly okay. Your parents being disappointed that you don't want to be around a bunch of naked people seems strange. No shade on Naturists. But they can't expect others to be as comfortable and open as they are.
Hell naw & they shouldn’t be taking no minors to that shit wtf
NTA. However, your step father is one. Planning a family trip to a nudist resort is trying to involve you & your sister.
NTA My Dad's side of the family grew up in that way and my Grandma on his side lived full time in a nudist camp until she died. There's nothing wrong with it, IMO, but it's not for everyone and definitely NOT something to push off on you. ETA: Looks like commenters don't realize there are cities in the USA that have full time residences that live as nudists. Entire families. It's not a sex thing or sus in general. They don't think anything of it.
The stepdad and 15yo sister aspect is definitely sus. Men are gross about girls, not all men, but enough that you can never put it out of mind. Maybe he joined the family and posed as a nudist just to get this to happen.
I'm not defending the sted-dad at all. I think the mom is sus here too and I would not be cool with any of this personally. I'm saying the places where families live regularly in the nude aren't suspicious in general. Being naked to them isn't something they really think about. My cousins all visit the resorts and have since they were toddlers but it's not my thing.
I don’t think they are twins. When OP said “sisters” I think he actually meant “sister’s,” meaning there’s only one.
Got it, I think you’re right. Still tho.
NTA. You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. And, as you're a guy, I imagine it would be weird af to see your family naked, especially your mom and sister. That's weird, and they shouldn't be trying to force their lifestyle on you.
So quick update: My mom and SD aren't home so I asked my sister if we could talk real quick. I explained that I simply wasn't comfortable seeing any of my family naked, nor being naked in a public place. I asked her why she was, and if SD had ever done or said anything to make hee feel pressured. She said no, she just wants to experience the lifestyle, and asked what my issue is. I told her again that the people I live with are the ones I least want to see naked. She accused me of "Wanting her to wear a hijab like an Iranian" and told me to leave her alone, so I did.
>"Wanting her to wear a hijab like an Iranian" That's...really offensive to women who are actually subjugated. You're not doing that at all.
Yeah, there is quite a large difference between "I don't want to see my sister naked and I don't want my sister to see me naked" to being forced to wear head-to-toe coverings.
That’s…a really unfair, and ignorant, comparison for your sister to make. I’m glad you tried to talk to her about it, but if she’s comfortable with this then it’s best to respect it. Now if only she could respect your wishes not to do it.
Good for you! I’m glad you checked in with your sister! As a lot of people have said, there is nothing inherently wrong or sexual with naturism. However, since there are a lot of people abused by step parents, my concern was making sure this is truly an innocent trip. You seem like a good brother! And 1000% NTA!
Wonder if that is the rationale/argument SD gave to her to normalize it. He has definitely been preaching about it to her. Ask her friends for help
I also would ask your dads parents if they are still involved in your life what their opinion is of stepdad taking their grandkids somewhere to be all naked together. If mom and stepdad are resisting having outside opinions, it would be very suspicious. Because if it is all innocent, then there should be no reason to keep anything a secret.
You don’t want your sister to do anything. It’s more like being uncomfortable wearing a Speedo while supporting a friend who likes them.
NTA. Your body your rules.
Absolutely NTA. This is so incredibly unreasonable that they would expect you to go. I’d rather be naked in front of a stranger than in front of my family of another gender.
NTA. You have every right to decide you don't want to go to a naturist resort, and most naturists (clearly not yout stepdad!) would fully respect your right to decide you didn't want to go to a naturist resort. Of course you should equally respect the right of your mom, stepdad, and sister to *be* naturists. There's no issue about minor children going to naturist beaches or resorts.
NTA. Sorry to hear your family is not being understanding OP. I see your 17 and close to being 18 which means you well be a legal adult soon so you can go LC/NC if needed. Not sure how bad the situation is at home but I would consider setting a counseling session with your family and find out why they’re acting so hurt that you aren’t comfortable being nude. If the situation continue being unhealthy for you and start interfering with your day to day life, talk to somebody about what you can do maybe get out of that situation.
NTA. It’s one thing to do this as an adult, but I think it’s hugely inappropriate that your parents want to take two minor teenagers to a place where other adults will see them naked. Not to mention your stepdad seeing you both naked as well. I’m honestly amazed a place like this allows minors to come or it even being legal.
That's ridiculous of them to pressure you. 17 year-olds have enough to worry about. NTA
100% NTA. Your SF and Mom should be ashamed of even attempting to browbeat you into going once you stared that you are uncomfortable with it. I'm assuming the location is outside the US, as to the best of my knowledge no location in the US allows minors anywhere on the premises.
NTA. You should never feel sorry for not going along with something your aren’t comfortable with doing. Especially when it comes to being naked in front of your family and a bunch of strangers, and having to see your family entirely naked. To each their own.
NTA Is this even real? Your sister and you are a minor. Pretty sure this is illegal. Please tell a trusted family member if they pressure you. I’m also worried about your sister.
NTA, I don't think minors should be involved in this. A naked child being surrounded by nude adults is just morally wrong and presumably illegal. Your mom and stepdad are weird af for wanting to include y'all. This just feels incestuous and pedophilic.
While I agree NTA and would not want to see my family nude, I just want to make clear that nudity itself is not sexual or morally wrong. Society will be a better place when we stop sexualizing the human body.
The parents are trying to force this upon them. Society will be a much better place when creeps stop living in it.
It's not illegal. My dad and his siblings were raised on nudist camps in the USA. Primarily Florida but I know there's one in Illinois too. They are probably scattered around the USA.
NTA. You have personal boundaries, and you need to stick to them. It doesn't matter what ANYONE else thinks. You don't want to. Again, NTA. Can't stress that enough.
nta, creepy that they're giving you a hard time for this.
NTA as long as you are not coming across as trying to shame their wishes. And they have an interesting definition of "Clothing optional"
Lol, clothing is optional but you can’t wear it here
NTA, you do not have to do something you are uncomfortable with. Also where are you going that allows minors to participate with adults and WHY would your parents be ok with your 15yo sister doing this. That seems like the worst part here.
I've done some research it's actually more common than you'd think.
NTA. Your body your choice. You are allowed to feel uncomfortable with a situation and nor want to take part. I personally don’t think you’ve created a rift.
NTA. Your mom and stepdad are sure sending you mixed signals here. I wouldn't want to go, either.
NTA for reasons already mentioned by others. Your step dad is manipulative. I'm getting seriously bad vibes from what you've said.
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NTA So you'd be classed as a minor in the US, right? If so, I find it pretty disturbing that they'd want to take two underage girls to a nudist resort. Maybe I'm being a prude, but that doesn't sit well with me.
I'm a guy but yeah. I did check and it's legal, but that really doesn't make me feel any better
Sorry, I meant two minors.
Just turn around and ask why they're so butthurt about not seeing you naked. Honestly they can't say it's up to you on one hand and then be upset that you don't want to do that. You haven't grown up in that environment and you don't want to try it that's absolutely ok, it's absolutely not ok for them to act coldly towards you. I would tell them how you are disappointed in them that they would try and guilt you into not having your own autonomy and you really question how much love and respect they have for you because you don't want to see your family naked, because you wouldn't try and guilt them into doing something they were uncomfortable with. Throw that disappointment back at them OP.
NTA - Drop the name of the resort bc places like this really shouldn't allow children. I understand that there is plenty of non-sexual nakedness in the world and that is totally fine, but it should be universally understood that your body is yours only to decide how to use it and display it. Liking clothes is not prudish in the least.
I will note that I do want shirtlessness and bralessness more normalized for women in appropriate places (as a woman myself) but pants should stay on every gender unless every single person in the place is and adult and has fully consented to genitals out.
NTA. It's weird that they want to go somewhere that they will be able to see naked children
NTA I feel like them icing you out like this is their way of punishing you for having boundaries.
NTA. It’s inappropriate taking minors to these kinds of places if they are not comfortable
NTA They cannot force you to participate in nudism.
NTA. I like nude beaches, but would never want my parents to go with me. You’re definitely not the problem here.
German (49f) here. Nudist in any shape or form (no pun intended) is nothing for me, and I most certainly would nope out of this situation as well. NTA.
NTA If you can't wear clothing it's not "clothing optional". I've been to a few naturist events over the years and people your age often either don't come with their families or wear clothes. It's very normal to feel the way you do. It's not prudish to be uncomfortable; you're not trying to stop anyone else going, just setting a personal boundary.
NTA. This is very disturbing especially since you and your sister are minors. Also the last thing any boy wants you a to see anyone in his family naked. There is something really wrong with your parents for wanting to go with children.
NTA. You should not be coerced into going anywhere that requires you to do something you aren't comfortable with. Meanwhile, what you describe is not "clothing optional." It's "clothing prohibited." If your stepfather wants to introduce your mother, your sister, and/or you to his lifestyle, he should start with a venue where it's okay for you to remain clothed if that's what you prefer. Him jumping straight to "towels are okay some places, but others require full nudity" makes him an AH.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (17M) and my sisters (15F) father died 6 years ago, and my mother remarried my stepfather two years later. He's cool, he respects us, he's not our dad but he gets that. Here's where things get weird. My stepdad is a naturist, he likes to be naked whenever he can. He told us this theree years ago. He was open that he wouldn't do it in front of us, and he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it, he thought that was a line that should not be crossed. Weird, but it's not like he tells everybody so not much changed. This summer he wants to go on a trip. He and our mom sat us down and explained that it's a naturist resort. It's "Clothing optional" but that means you can really only wear a towel in common areas and you have to be naked in the pools. My mother was all for it, she wants to get into naturism too, and even my sistee (Ew) is exited for it. Yes I'm American, yes I'm sure several continents think I'm a prude, but I'm simply not comfortable being nude in front of anybody, let alone my family. Stepdad tried to explain that's what the towels are for "Awkward teens" and there were actually a lot of people my age I could learn from. I said sorry but I'm not going. He won't force me or punish me for not going, at my mothers insistance, but they are both very dissapointed in me. Even my sister has been cold lately. I worry I may have opened a rift in my family. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Would this even be allowed considering both are underage?
Um no, NTA. It’s all cool for your family to be naturists, but it’s awful for them to try and push you into this. You get to have complete control over who sees your body or not, not your family.
N T A. I lived in Germany for years. It's not as common as Americans believe it is. Also, not every European person gets naked at the first opportunity.
He likes naked kids.. hard pass
NTA Worst case? Sounds like your skeevy SF wants to see his step children naked and mom is pimping you out. Best case? The are pushing you to do something you are in no way comfortable with and that would probably get them in trouble with CPS. The idea that punishing you is even an option would have me reporting them.
Nta, Im concerned and worried about the underage 15 yr old going to the resort
This is a massive red flag, NTA. You’re a minor being emotionally blackmailed into being naked in front of strangers (and your stepfather) against your will?! And your sister is underage in most jurisdictions, I’m sorry to say but it may be possible he’s groomed her and your mother. It is not normal to try to convince young people to do this.
NTA and him wanting to naked and wanting to see step kids naked is very weird and worrying.
Had a similar experience years ago with an ex and some of her family. It was a thinly veiled excuse for older dudes to get younger people naked with them and brainwashed older women to do nothing about it. Now, I'm not saying that's what's going on here, but the fact that you're minors is a huge red flag for me (you and your sister). You don't have to feel comfortable with this and shouldn't be made to. "Awkward teenager" is a way for them to turn the negatives back on you with convenient words and it comes across as manipulative. If the people who love you are the ones trying to get you to compromise, reevaluate how close you are with them.
NTA! I can’t even imagine going to a nudist resort with MY family lol the thought of seeing my family members naked is just horrifying.
NTA - nobody has the right to pressure you into accepting a lifestyle (even for the short term of a vacation) that you don’t want or even want to try. No is a complete sentence. If your mom and step dad and sister are cool with it, then they can go do it.
NTA. Ew. I wouldn't go either especially with my parents/siblings.
NTA they're being pushy, you said no and were polite why are they giving you the cold shoulder now? If it was an invitation is because you can say no, that's how invitations work.
NTA You could ask why did he lie when he said he wouldn't push you into it. Explain you are disappointed in him and your mum.
Nta, plus many places will not think you are a prude.
This is wildly inappropriate and creepy beyond words. Who takes their family, including children who are minors, to a nudist resort?? That's insane. Your step dad is creepy for even mentioning he is a nudist - especially since he said he'd never do it in front of you, so you wouldn't have the means to find out. >but they are both very dissapointed in me Ask them point blank: "What are you disappointed about? You \[SD\] said you wouldn't force the naturalist lifestyle on me, so why are you doing it now?" Are they disappointed that you don't want to walk around naked in front of them and strangers? Or are they disappointed because you don't want to see your parents and strangers naked? >Stepdad tried to explain that's what the towels are for "Awkward teens" and there were actually a lot of people my age I could learn from. So they have a protocol for minors? I'm unfamiliar with the law here, but this is so messed up to expose children to. No sane parent would put their child through this. Your SD is a liar forcing his lifestyle on you. Your mom wants your SD to be happy at your expense. They're teaming up to guilt you and your sister into something neither of you are comfortable with. If you cave this time, your SD will say "well you did it last time, so what's the problem now?" This is a hill to die on, NTA
NTA. But your family is.
Nta It's not something you should be forced or coerced to do especially if it's making you uncomfortable
NTA. I would NEVER walk around naked in front of my family.
Nta, you aren't comfortable with this plan, you're old enough to stay home by yourself or with a friend or other family member. I'd suggest those.
Most people can’t even look at their own body when they’re alone….. NTA…
UK very few naturists. Swim suits in saunas too.
NTA nobody can force anyone to go somewhere, and I wouldn’t like to go there. It sounds to weird and I would much rather go to a normal resort than this. I can understand why parents can be disappointed when their children don’t go to events or meet ups etc. but if I was a family going here I would 100% respect this opinion because it can be super awkward and being naked in the pool? Whatever the age that’s just to weird especially with other people. I 100% respect your choice
NTA he’s a creep and it’s really concerning how willing your mom is to just go along with this
NTA at all, you have every right to privacy, especially of your own body. Anyone else incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that a 15 year old is going to be nude in front of adults though? That is incredibly concerning…
NTA. Some people are just not comfortable naked in front of others, or seeing naked strangers. Your step father seems to kinda get that, tell the others to leave you alone (stop pressuring you) about it!
NTA. This sounds like the worst vacation possible.
NTA, and whatever happened to *"he wouldn't do it in front of us, and he absolutely would not even attempt to get us into it, he thought that was a line that should not be crossed"*? Because it sure seems like he's proposing to do it in front of you and attempting to get you into it for this vacation! Also "clothing optional" should not mean that you only can wear a towel but you aren't allowed to wear anything in the swimming pool. It should mean exactly what it says: clothing is an option that you are allowed to choose.
Stick to your guns. I’m European and even though you see some topless women on the beaches is not nearly as common as you would imagine. Full nudity would be a no-no unless it’s a specific beach. To be quiet honest most people on the nudist beaches are old- like grandpa old so not sure about the comment that you can learn a thing or two from other teenagers. It’s a little disturbing that your mom is ok being completely nude in front of you and your sister. Let them be cold. They can live their lives their own way and you can live it your own way. And you are 17 and soon will build a life for yourself
NTA- look I’m almost a naturalist- at least at home, I don’t think I could be naked in a public area comfortably - anyways- I really hate clothes, I also have kids, neither one of them really like to be naked. It’s their body I don’t care. I would never ever dream of forcing either of them to go on vacation where they had to get naked. They just don’t like it and I’m okay with that.
Heya European here (Irish) NTA there is no way I would be naked on a beach in front of other people that would be gross imagine seeing all older men there and then having them just look at young girls in the pool with no clothes on thats very creepy to me and they should have an age limit on that in the first place. 2nd if you feel uncomfortable that should give them enough reason and they should drop it. Let them be disappointed and cold you have every right to say no end of I have travelled and lived in spain and I would never go anywhere near a place like that❤️
American or not, awkward teen or not, you and only you can decide to part with your clothes. My parents were naturists, I was too until my teens and I waited till my 30s to think about doing it again. Sure I loved the freedom, the people around, not so much. Specially since lot of naturists spots became exhibitionists spots. If your mom wants to do it, great for her. Same for your sister (even if curiosity and taboo probably play some roles there). But if you don't feel it, don't do it NTA. Naturists are supposed not to judge others and juste enjoy Nature (different from the nudists), it's supposed to be a way of thinking. And they are judging you. They're not naturists. They're fake.
NTA. fuck that.
Ewwwwwww No Nope Nope Nopety nope NTA
NTA. Don’t believe that prude nonsense. People are entitled to their level of comfort or lack of comfort with nudity. Personally I don’t think its cool that the sister is going to do it with the stepfather or even you but definitely the stepfather but I don’t know….
NTA. Your stepfather, mother, and sister are TA though for trying to pressure you into someone you have openly expressed discomfort with. I have multiple thoughts regarding this post. First would be does anyone else get some majorly weird vibes from this? OPs family trying to gaslight him into being naked around them and strangers feels too much like what you see predators do to their victims. Also think sister might not have thought this through. The resort might seem fun because it's different, but she might feel really different once she's expected to disrobe in front of her family and a bunch of strangers. I don't think 15 is a really good age to be getting into this. Also, kids can be cruel. I know if a knowledge of a girl going to a nudist resort would've been made public when I was in school, it would've made waves and sadly made that girl a target. It'd be even worse if they knew she went with her stepdad. From the outside looking in, it just feels wrong. OP, if I were you, if their attitude towards you doesn't improve soon or it gets worse, I would reach out to a grandparent or maybe a guidance counselor at school because what they're doing to you is wrong. You're allowed to feel this way. You're not saying you don't agree with naturalism, you just don't want any part of it which is your right. It may be necessary to go stay with a relative or a trusted friend if things don't get better. You're old enough to know what you're not comfortable with and they can't make you do this.
Frankly, that's just weird. You're all minors first of all, it's weird to want to bring your minor children to a nudist resort and honestly sounds like child endangerment. I would personally never allow my underage children to do something like that. Second, why would they be upset with you for not wanting to get naked in front of them/see them naked? You have a right to your privacy, you have a right to consent, and they can't take that away from you. I'd tell them that making you feel bad for not wanting to expose yourself to them and strangers is downright odd behavior. And calling you an "awkward teenager" for not wanting to do it is just adding insult to injury. If my parents or stepparents ever tried to make me do something like that I'd be uncomfortable being around them in general. I get them wanting to do it for themselves but trying to persuade their children into going? Very questionable behavior with questionable intentions.
NTA your mother and stepfather have no right to pressure you into adopting a lifestyle you don’t agree with. Moreover you have a right to live in a home free of nudity, specially if the nudity comes from an unrelated adult. If at any time you feel pressure or your SF exposes you to nudity you should get support. School counselling , trusted teacher, a relative are some low profile people that can be your allies, if that doesn’t work you can call the non emergency number of the police or local children services are there to have your back.
I'm pretty sure child protective services would have concerns about minor teens at a nudist vacation spot. I'm really surprised people under 18 are even allowed in the first place. NTA
Nta Look into the laws of that country the resort is in. You and your sister are still minors. Being naked in a nudist beach or resort is illegal in most places. Tell a trusted adult. I would be Weirded out too especially in front of a stepparent.
NTA but it does sound like your stepdad has an ulterior motive since your sis seems to be excited.
I'm from a way more naturalist friendly country, we are nude in the Sauna and so on. But I still think if someone doesn't feel comfortable they shouldn't go, and that is perfectly OK. Give them time, they will get over it.
first off you are NTA for not wanting to go , most places I know of would be ok with you wearing swim trunks so maybe having a calm discussion that you are not comfortable with it and don't want to cause a rift in the family and see if some sort of compromise can be reached like shorts under the towel,or if the issue is others being nude explain that there is nothing wrong with them being naked but you have no desire to see your mom and sisters vag or any strangers dangly bits . but seriously have them contact the resort and see if any compromise can be made I'm sure this isn't the first time a place has had this issue,but most of all remain calm and try not to be embarrassed in any discussion
NTA. That's weird they want to take 2 teenagers there.
NTA I’m no prude but it just doesn’t seem appropriate to be a teen just chilling with your step-dad in the nude.
NTA. I'm disappointed in them for putting that pressure on you. It's unfair, and should have been stopped when you voiced your discomfort.
NTA Nudism is something you do willingly. THey are AHs to push you. Clear NTA
NTA This is a perfectly valid boundary. I consider myself sex-positive, body/nudity-positive, not at all prudish, etc… and this would still be a hard no for me. If it were my *friends* then I’d consider it, but a parent, step parent, and sibling? As a teen no less? Heck no. Not even just the discomfort of being naked around them, but I wouldn’t want to see *them* naked. You get to decline and nobody can shame you for that
Been to a naturist camp. Them saying you have to go nude is horseshit. No you absolutely do not have to be nude. Maybe they have hygiene rules for the pools, idk, but aside from the pools there is zero reason to force anyone to be naked who doesn't want to be. I've never heard of a naturist camp making people be naked when they don't want to be. That's a no go.
Definitely NTA. If you don't want to get naked in front of others or see other people naked that's your right. At 17 you're old enough to stay at home alone. They have to respect your choice. You could just as well judge them for their bizarre idea of going there but you don't so they should do the same for you. By the way I saw you mentionned Europeans, I'm French and no Europeans don't do that and are generally grossed out too by naturists.
NTA. I’m concerned for your 15 year old sister being naked around other adults, especially your step father. When she’s 18 years old she can go. But at 15? That seems young to be naked around other naked people of all ages. No one should force you to do something you don’t want to do. Are any other relatives aware of step father’s enjoyment of nudist camps? What are the laws in your area about naked fifteen year old girls? Are your other relatives aware about your young sister joining this type of vacation?
NTA - that would be crazy for anyone to judge you for not wanting to be nude in front of other people. I could be way off base here and I’m not making any accusations but i do find it a bit suspicious that he is shifting his attitude away from not doing it in front of you/not attempt to get you guys into it now that your sister is 15. Maybe it’s just my personal experiences talking but that gives me a gross feeling.
That's a really harsh response from your sister. It sounds like she's way past the point of being curious about the naturist lifestyle and has become a hardline apologist for it. It's very offensive that she's comparing herself with women who are actually being oppressed when all you did was check that she wasn't being pressured by your mom and step dad.
NTA, big time. Your stepdad may have been cool before, but now he's being an asshole, because he's going back on his word that he wouldn't force his lifestyle on you. And now he's recruited your mom and sister to help him out. Their level of disappointment and the pressure they're putting on you is disturbing. Why should it be such a big deal if they go and you stay home? I'll tell you why: because they want to be naked ALL the time, at home, and this trip was supposed to break down your barriers to that. Even if you get past this vacation nonsense, I would expect it to keep coming up. I wouldn't be surprised if the first time you come home from college, you'll find them all practicing this at home and they'll tell you tough luck, that's the way it is now. So stay strong! Refuse to go on the vacation. Make it clear that if they attempt to practice this in your home while you're still living there, you will tell the entire world about it, authorities included, and that it's being done without your consent. Good luck!
Should the guy your mom married really be taking her 15 year old daughter out to get naked for him? NTA, and this is all messed up. Naturalism is for adults who have the mental maturity to make their own decisions, not random teenagers whose stepdads have been grooming them
OMG this is creepy AF. Call CPS NOW. Don’t let them gaslight you and your sisters into doing something inappropriate for minors.