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Or…she can go herself, sell the extra ticket and use the money to be more independent form this *dude*. ETA: thank you for the awards!!

This right here👆🏻

As a dude... I support this. NTA

Same same

And might I add KEEP THOSE TICKETS ON YOU AT ALL TIMES. I can see bf just deciding to take it upon himself to sell the tickets AND pocket the cash so don't let bf have the opportunity. Enjoy the concert NTA

Chances are OP doesn’t have a physical ticket, the tickets are probably on her Ticketmaster account. I would suggest changing the password if he knows it or if its on a shared computer

> He argues I should’ve known they were going to be a hot item and bought more seats for the sole purpose of reselling. Of course that came after this: >He said no numerous times, I think until I had tears in my eyes and had to beg how much it would mean to me. And of course, how I promise to pay him back. He said I had to get the cheapest tickets

THIS HERE!!!! Go alone, enjoy the show and sell the extra ticket.

This is 100% what I would do if tickets were selling for this much. Boyfriend doesn't even want to be there so why not cash in his ticket and enjoy the concert with strangers who do?

I tend to agree. You will make friends out of some strangers at the show. Use the extra cash to buy tickets other shows, that don't cost 2.5k, lol. You can buy 10 good seats to Metallica for that price.

Or use the money to pay for a new place to stay away from this guy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

In a healthy relationship, you support their dreams, are happy for them. Is he? Are you (in a healthy relationship)?

The audacity to suggest she sell the ticket she paid for to pay off his loans haha. The only thing you should get rid of is your bf. This dude is lame.

OP didn't accept a no for an answer (usually a huge red flag around here), is completely broke with no apparent credit card access, and has a kid that she is responsible for (financially and otherwise), yet is turning down whatever financial security comes with 5k and we're saying her bf is lame? I think they both sound lame and six year old deserves better.

Yes, god forbid someone who is struggling or poor find any joy in life. She should suffer all the time! Only the rich deserve to enjoy things! /s btw

Damn this thread is wild. She paid $300 for a once in a lifetime experience to see an artist that helped her through one of the darkest times in her life. Honestly I think that’s absolutely reasonable. I swear people forget that poor people are people too and deserve joy. If you are struggling everyday to make ends meet, you are under a spectacular amount of stress. It’s not like she paid $5k for these tickets and honestly it’s pretty brutal to shame her because she could resell those tickets for $5k now. Are they going to shit on her for selling them for $5k now if they’re reselling for $10k in 2 months? Let the damn woman have one nice night.

Sure they do, but when you don't have $300 to your name, you might want to consider taking $5k over going to a concert.

She didn't have 300 months ago when she bought the ticket. We don't know what she has now. Seeing as he keeps saying they could used the money to pay off his student debt, a vacation, or her car I'm assuming they don't need the money for necessities or immediate bills.

You mean like when AITA is blasting guys for owning for example PS5 and not selling it when they have kids? I agree with you IF they don't have financial troubles. But if they do, OP is TA. Especially because there is a 6 y/o kid.

Definitely everyone knows that being poor is fully deserved & 💯 they don’t ever ever get to have fun. What kind of wanker actually thinks like that? NTA, OP.

Damn, I didn't even look at OP's post history. This definitely changes things a lot, since from just her post one would assume her bf was just being lame and controlling. I'm not saying he's not those things, but when she's in such terrible financial straits, yeah, I can see why he'd be so pressed.

I have to agree with this. From the post I thought that the 6yo was not her child, only her boyfriend's. And thought it was entitled of him to suggest she sold her tickets to pay off HIS car and loans. But... I think she has an obligation towards HER CHILD, when she has this little money. I think she should sell the tickets, but not spend the money on a vacation or paying off boyfriend's loans, but put the money into a savings account for unforeseen stuff and/or the child.

A struggling mom would prioritize her child, but at the least she can sell one and enjoy the show.

I saw that apparently OP was asking about food stamps just a few months ago. A struggling mom has an absolute obligation to prioritize feeding their child over a concert.

Yeah, it is mostly 15-year-olds responding who forgot their expectations when they were 6. The mothers I admire and know would look at it as a huge windfall and forget about their own fun. Imagine trading a real week long vacation with your child for a few hours of personal fun. Dad is not lame. How does someone on food stamps get a car loan. You have to be bad off to get food stamps. She should pay $2500 off on her car, and take the kid for a great week somewhere great.

The boyfriend literally suggested she pay off his student loan but also gave her a hard time for asking to borrow the credit card, told her to get cheap tickets, and is now gas lighting her saying she should have bought more tickets. I don’t think this boyfriend is going to let her keep this money if she sells, he seems abusive. She should sell and use it to get away from this asshole tho. NTA but also keep you and your kid safe if this is an opportunity to do that.

He suggested paying off her car or his student loan. They are a couple raising a child. Making joint decisions is common practice.

You’d be surprised how many folks who work still get food stamps. I worked for a school district in OC. My food stamp case manager said “oh we have plenty of reciepents working for (school district ). Don’t worry about it.” It absolutely worried me as this was a substitute teacher position making decent money .

I think like 30% of full time employees of Walmart are on food stamps.

Yup, yup. I'm super angry about this whole post. My parents sacrificed a ton to properly provide for the children they brought into the world (as parents are supposed to do).

There are moms who go without food to feed their child(ren). There are moms that literally prostitute themselves even though it goes against their nature to provide for their child(ren). Moms have done all sorts of things to provide as much as possible for their child at greater cost to themselves than missing out on a few hours of fun. Swift is a trooper, but concerts get cancelled all the time.

Glad to see someone with sense. I'd be just as pissed as the BF in this case.. no artist is worth missing out on 5k (if you're in a financial position where 5k is alot of money).

I was wondering if anyone would have the nerve to say it. The cold, hard facts. (I get that it sucks and she wants to go. But you laid it out.) They have a child and are in debt. Her car isn’t paid for, he has student loans and their child is already six. Five grand could make a nice dent in their debt or even pay if off completely if I’m reading it correctly. I’d be torn myself if I was OP. Not begging, super insistent and putting tix I can’t afford on an AmEx that isn’t mine. (Random, but why doesn’t she have a credit card??) I’m not calling anyone an asshole but… she’s not a kid anymore- she has one. I think she’d get more healing of her aforementioned trauma out of five grand worth of therapy than a night of hearing Taylor Swift, if nothing else. And these days, where else could you possibly make that kind of profit on such a short term investment? (Legally. Lol.)

Is it even her kid? This sounds like a dude who brought his kid into the situation.

It’s hers if you look through her post history

I think this is a great answer! I would do this if I were to be in OPs shoes. And OP, have a lot of fun at the concert!

that's what I thought as well. HIS student loan my ass. ​ OP, you are NTA, but seriously, don't take this dude with you and save the money for you and your son because bf doesn't sound like a keeper!!!!

I like this plan! I've been to lots of concerts by myself and still had a great time. Bf clearly has no interest in the concert and will ruin your night if you bring him so if that 2nd ticket was intended for him I'd sell it and do what YOU want with the money - you paid him back so it was YOUR investment, not his. NTA

NTA and selling the extra and going alone is the way. Though I'd recommend putting that $ in savings in case you ever need an escape plan. I once sold my extra ticket to Yo-Yo Ma & the wife who got it was tickled and I think her husband was actually a little relieved he could only get one and didn't have to go. We chatted before the concert and probably both enjoyed the experience more than with anyone else bc we both really wanted to be there.

This is what I was thinking. Sell the spare ticket and use the money for herself.

Hard to cut that cord when there's a kid involved

This is the plan

Doesn’t seem she will ever be truly independent from him tho since they have a kid.

I’m not sure if it’s his kid too? Or just hers. At the very least, she could get a little distance.

Lol, that was my first thought too!

You paid him. They are your property. He can sell his belongings if he cares so much. NTA. I'm also giving a hard side-eye to his "you should have known" browbeating. This bad-faith argument would push me out of the relationship. I just don't trust someone willing to say something so silly to convince themselves they have the moral high ground. He does NOT get to work his power issues out on you. Financial issues between a couple should be solved mutually. He certainly does not get to decree from on high that you should sacrifice your meaningful experience.

Yeah that part struck me as hella fucking manipulative. If OP had to beg him to the point of tears to front her the money for these tickets, and he explicitly told her to get the cheapest option possible, why in her right mind would she buy more tickets than she needed? This is a bullshit bad faith argument meant to trip up OP and convince her to give him the money instead. Big 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

That part got me too. He didn't want her to buy them at all, now suddenly she should have spent most? And why didn't he, the financial genius, know they were going be a hot item?

Aw thanks, I’m afraid he will ruin the night too by having a sour attitude. I don’t have many friends tho :/ I wanted to go with him so I could be the most comfortable. I told him that I would support him and do “anything” to make him happy. He said that the situation wouldn’t ever exist because he doesn’t feel the way I do about any musician/celebrity or sports team

I went to the show in ATL and everyone was chatting with everyone else, dancing with people around us, etc. There were no strangers in the whole neighborhood that night. You can absolutely go by yourself and have a fabulous time. I will also so that, as someone who was in an abusive relationship for years, many of the things your boyfriend was saying to you are incredibly manipulative: make sure you take care of you!

There is another answer here: keep 1 ticket and sell the other. She can use the money towards debt and stuff, and he doesn't want to go anyways.

Never offer to do anything to make another person happy. That ends with you being sad. I'm sorry you don't have many friends, but it would be better to go by yourself than with him. He is not nice to you. Perhaps you could sell the second ticket and move away from him or see a therapist to work on dealing with your childhood and relationships. These tickets are yours. You paid him back. Tell him the topic is no longer up for discussion. You have said no and you mean it. If he wants to go and be there for you then fantastic. If he wants to pout at home like a baby that is on him. It isn't your job to sell your stuff to support his child. You will have a fantastic time! And you deserve it.

I have gone to concerts by myself and other fans always chat with me! SELL HIS TICKET AND GO ALONE. NTA

yeah, just.. don't tell the person next to you that you were the one to sell them the ticket for so much more!

Okay but it doesn't have to be a celebrity or sports team. It's for the experience. If your bf is a gamer, would he have sold his PS5 or the 30 series graphics cards when they were elusive items? I had to go camp out at a Best Buy 3 hours away from me for over 16 hours to buy a 3080 GPU for my PC. At the time I bought it, it was about $700 and going for as much as $3,000 at that time I think. All in all, if he had anything he was passionate about and was given the choice to resell it or not to make a quick buck at his expense, I doubt he'd do it.

I went to her opening night in Glendale. Do not miss this concert, it was amazing. If you go alone that's fine too.

Whenever I go to concerts, I always end up meeting one or two people that will end up on my social media and we become mutuals (show love from a distance, I adore seeing how they’re doing). I’ve never been to a concert by myself but it’s easy to get separated from your friend(s), if you love TS as much as I think you do, you’ll be fine and be in your own little world. Everyone is different, but a concert is the one place you don’t have to worry about people focusing their attention on you

And make sure he doesn’t know the password to her account.

OR email address. OP, change your passwords.

Secure those tickets!

That depends on what her family condition is. Assuming the son is hers/thiers and their financial position is paycheck to paycheck. Then she's the asshole for focus on herself than giving financial safety net for their/her family. Why I say paycheck to check? Because she need to borrow her boyfriend card and don't have to buy it herself. And the boyfriend might be reluctant to give her either because money might be tight. Not everyone is well off. But if they/her is financially stable, then she's not the asshole. Yes, I would insist they sell something of valuable than going homeless or starving. Both would bring me, my partner and child more stress and unhappiness if that were to happen.

Totally agree with this. Looking through her post history she was asking about how to get foodstamps for her son.

I love how “if he had something of value” sounds like a question, but we all know the answer is of course he doesn’t

He was the one with the ability to purchase the tickets, not OP.

If you've paid him back, he can suck eggs NTA And take note of his greed. That's a deeply unattractive trait and not the kind of thing that tends to change in a person's outlook. Is this a trait you want in your life partner?

He can choke on those eggs honestly for the way he is acting. OP definitely needs to reevaluate this relationship.

Never mind the fact that she had to repeatedly beg? This whole thing is just a set of flags.

Well, when you're broke to the point where you can't charge $300, perhaps it's not unreasonable for your significant other to not want to float you the money to indulge in the superfluities of life. Maybe OP needs to learn that no is a complete sentence. It's what we usually say around here.

That bothered me, too. Especially after they mention having a 6yo. That's why I said the whole thing was a pack of flags, or meant to. That being said, based on how OP claims their SO made them beg, thought it was foolish for even getting them and is now berating her for not getting more to scalp? It's not an ideal set up at all. That poor child.

Yup, and I read somewhere down the line that OP was asking about food stamps a few months back. You know what ought to be more fun to a parent than a concert? Having enough money to feed your kid.

🤬😮‍💨 I missed that. OP is an asshole to begin with. My sister and her BF are like this. Constant pleas on FB to get help because he can't work due to epilepsy: $20 for groceries, diapers (when the kids were small), bikes (when they got older), a ride to donate plasma, free babysitting, funds to get a service dog, complaints about getting needing dental work but it's expensive, etc. Liberally sprinkled with posts about getting a new GSD (probably puppy milled), playing hockey, buying new junk cars to fix, wanting to get (and sometimes succeeding) tickets to various football, wrestling, and hockey stuff. Her shit is a whole mess and she seems set on making it that way. 🤷🏽‍♀️ People are just gonna people.

I mean... I personally think even people on food stamps deserve to do fun things every once in a while, too. This just makes me think of the people saying, "stop complaining about your student debt when you bought yourself an iPhone!" As if one iphone is going to make a substantial difference in their student debt. If they bought iphones every year, that would be a problem. But once? No, the student debt is still the problem, not them deciding to get something they deem quality that will add to their life. I think that we can't assume we know enough about her to decide whether she deserves these tickets or not. They're clearly important to her, and if she usually budgets best she can, I don't see a problem with it.

This! The idea that people who aren’t in good financial positions are just supposed to be miserable with no entertainment is such an asshole concept. Growing up poor, we rarely got to do anything that other kids do- it doesn’t change when you’re an adult. Seeing people your age go on trips or have luxuries that you can’t regularly afford sucks just the same. So yes splurging every once and awhile to still feel “normal” isn’t the worst thing

I totally get that. My specific issue here is that OP has a child that she has apparently struggled to provide with food in the very recent past. Splurging on yourself when it means you going without is no one's business but your own, but splurging when you're living on the edge of not being able to provide for your kid is not okay.

yeah that's what changes it for me. If you want to spend money you don't have on something nice for yourself, have at it...as long as a kid isn't going without because of your choice to splurge

I’m not sure where you get that they’re struggling to provide. Her post says that qualifying for free breakfast/lunch for her kid would “really help us out.” I know a lot of people who would fall under the same umbrella. Hell, I probably fall into the “lower middle class” umbrella and free breakfast/lunch for my kids would also really help me out. Have you seen the price of food lately? Also they live in CA probably in LA county somewhere. The cost of living is insane. People who live paycheck to paycheck still deserve a night out from time to time.

Yes, exactly! If you're constantly splurging and broke, that's a problem. But if every once and a while something means a lot to you, the cost is worth it. I have a friend who goes on multiple vacations a year. Due to my car and student loans, my net worth is about -$40k right now. I don't go on as many vacations as him, but I try to take one trip with my family a year. I'm not broke, I have money in my bank, but that doesn't change the fact I owe a lot of money. So I'm more careful with it than my friend is. But I still deserve to do things that make me happy and mean a lot to me. OP is the same.

This is such an empathetic response. Really refreshing and nice to read that. You sound like a lovely person.

Not to mention that it's easy to get a second hand, refurbished, or even new phone through the carries. I grew up on food stamps. My mom did a pretty good job of explaining budgeting and such without me realizing we were poor until she married my step dad when I was 10. There's a big difference in (what used to be) $1.50 movie tickets every few months and $310 concert tickets, time off, babysitting (because if she was taking him who's watching the 6yo?), travel expenses, etc. We don't have all the facts, but I'm mostly disturbed by how desperate she seemed to get those tickets and how much of a gaslighting ass her SO comes across as according to her. ETA: also something is really wrong if this kind of money would immediately go to a vacation (per her SO) and not bills or essentials.

>also something is really wrong if this kind of money would immediately go to a vacation (per her SO) and not bills or essentials. OP literally mentioned her SO talking about how it could be used for paying off debt. I think the mention of vacation is that if she is so insistent on the importance of experiences, with $5k they could easily pay for the whole family to go to Disneyland for a few days and still pay some bills considering they presumably live in/near LA with the plan to go to Sofi Stadium. So essentially her SO's point seems to be that if they sold the tickets they could pay bills and still not skip out on having a great time, it just wouldn't be at a Taylor Swift concert. That's not really a crazy idea. The insinuation that OP should have bought tickets just for reselling is insane though, especially when she was barely able to buy the original tickets.

I mean, a once in a lifetime concert that means that much to a person, where they got the tickets dirt cheap, doesn’t seem to be a big deal. I mean, it’s a big deal, but only in that I’m sure it rarely if ever happens to her. If an artist that means that much to me (there are a few) actually came to our local arena, I’d beg for tickets too. Nor would I sell them if the price went crazy. I’m on disability and make maybe 600$ a month from it. A once in a lifetime opportunity though, is worth the effort. You are disturbed by her desperation, but when you’ve cling to something that tightly to get you through a super hard time, it means the world to you. If you’re poor the chances of having to pass up these situations is nearly 100%. She got lucky AF. I wouldn’t fault her for that.

>You are disturbed by her desperation, but when you’ve cling to something that tightly to get you through a super hard time, it means the world to you. If you’re poor the chances of having to pass up these situations is nearly 100%. She got lucky AF. I wouldn’t fault her for that. This is good insight. Thank you for this.

Yes, exactly. She didn't have the money at the moment, and there are all sorts of circumstances that could lead to that. It's one concert she's already paid him back for. People are making a lot of assumptions here.

So much this!! If I had awards to give, I would give you one. The Judgy McJudgersons in this thread really come off as making it seem like poverty is a moral failure instead of a financial circumstance. OP borrowed the money and paid it back. The potential value of a resale (and it's no guarantee, even for a Swifty ticket that she'd actually get that money or that the process wouldn't be fraught). OP not choosing to go wouldn't have made their financial situation any better. The idea that she's not allowed to do anything to prioritize her own happiness once she became a parent is how we get horror stories of parents who resent their children and children who grow up expecting everyone around them to set themselves on fire to make them comfortable because they never learned they weren't the center of the universe. OP, don't take the boyfriend. Sell the extra ticket or take your kid (who might have fun at a music concert and make a precious memory with you and would definitely appreciate it more than your bf). This is obviously important to your emotional well-being and you are allowed to honor that.

I’m on food stamps and if I had the chance to make 3,000 for my family and my kid.. I would feel guilty not taking it and spending it on 3 hours of seeing Taylor swift

How is it greed when you are a low income parent with a kid and need money for bills and to pay off debt?? 3,000$ can change someone’s life when they are struggling. Versus one night of a good memory seeing friggin Taylor swift

If you have a kid and debt how is it greedy to ask your partner to be financially responsible? I understand she only paid $100 but $5000 can go a long way. Especially if you’re paying off debt with interest. It would be irresponsible and selfish to not sell the tickets imo. I understand wanting a good experience, but that’s practically a free $5000. You need to think about how it could help the families financial future.

Greed is bad, but so is repeatedly begging to the point of tears 😭

Sell HIS ticket, go without him.

He sounds like not a great companion for this concert. Maybe you should go alone and enjoy the presence of other super fans. You could strike a deal with boyfriend that he can sell the other ticket if he promises to pick you up and drop you off, to reduce the stress/ safety issues of going alone. Then he can make his profit and leave you alone

No way it would be her money not his.

Yeah but since he paid with his card she should be careful he doesn’t find a way to cancel the tickets if she decides to go without him. Idk how that would work legally but I’m sure there’s a way he could claim it was fraudulent or something.

she paid him back. & if he waited THIS long to do it i doubt they’d refund or go for a fraud charge.

I know she paid him back but this is a hypothetical where he’s lying. Hopefully not, like I said I’m not sure what the banks would do or policy.

If she sells his ticket she can hire a limo with a driver and have heaps of money left over and won’t have him griping at her and demanding more money from her

She might even have enough for a beer at sofi

Why would she do that while she's trying to apply for food stamps? that would be so neglectful to her son.

NTA. It’s not like you stole his card or didn’t pay him back. As a Swiftie, YWBTA if you sold these tickets for more than face value.

This! Making another fan suffer because you feel like being greedy is absolutely AH behaviour.

Reselling the tickets wouldn’t make another fan suffer. It would just mean someone willing to pay $2500 could go

It's ironic that he asked you to buy the cheapest tickets. If you had suggested buying 2 pairs, he would have been like, why? It's funny how, with hindsight, he acts as though hr would have happily let you buy more on HIS credit card. Also, why would you pay his student debt? I feel like he thinks he has a right to the value of the tickets because he initially paid for them, but that's simply not how it works when lending money! You're NTA and definitely go to the concert. Taylor is one of a kind. You won't regret it.

That’s what got me. Dude is pretending he would’ve allowed her to buy more than 2. There’s no way in hell he would have

Also I like how it went from “YOU HAVE TO GET THE CHEAPEST TICKETS!” To “why didnt you get more tickets knowing they’ll be 10x and you can resale them!” Make up you’re kind you were SOOO worried about her spending too much she got the cheapest and now that you can get more money you want to ruin her experience. Yea F him NTA have fun at the concert OP!

I love this comment! This is exactly how I feel!

Sell his ticket. Win win

From one swiftie to another, encouraging her to short herself just because supply/demand prices suck isn’t cool. The tickets are now worth $2500. Not the initial price. That’s not OPs fault. It’s Ticketmasters. Her taking the hit on an item that has increased in value because some internet stranger thinks that’s more fair makes no sense lol.

She wouldn’t be taking a hit if she sold them for what she paid for. Scalping tickets is super lame

People have a choice if they want to pay it though? It’s not like it’s insulin.

Scalpers are assholes that raise the cost of enjoying life for personal gain. Not necessary for survival doesn't mean it should should be scalped and resold and at absurd price.

Exactly! True fans wouldn’t scalp their tickets. I’ve never sold a ticket for over face value and I think doing so is lame. OP- go to the show, bring a friend and maybe seriously reconsider your relationship with this dude.

Ew no. Let’s not gatekeep whose a true Taylor Swift fan based on whether or not they’d lose out on $4800 for a fellow swiftie (likely stranger.) Come on.

I meant true fans of music and art in general. It’s a community and it’s fucking lame as hell to take advantage of your fellow community to make money. I’m sorry but scalping tickets is fucking lame and I have no respect for people that do it Edit to add: scalping tickets at an absurd price is basically making sure that concerts aren’t affordable or attainable for the average person. Rich people wouldn’t bat an eye at $2,500 but the majority of us cannot afford that. And it just kind of makes me sick that that is what concerts are turning into because of greed.

Does Taylor Swift not take advantage of that community to make money? She isn’t worth damn near a billion because she does charity work.

Oh good grief. Unless you and every other “true fan of music and art in general” bands together and agrees to vote with your dollars to not support this, telling strangers to lose out on $4800 in the name of “fairness” is completely bonkers.

NTA. The memories from the concert will be with you for a lifetime. Definitely longer than your boyfriend.

yeah this is quite possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity. $155 is like nothing for that experience.

Her boyfriend (and the father of HER son), both need the money to barely get by. You can read the other posts for context.

3,000$ can pay bills and put food on the table for their child. She didn’t even have the money to buy the tickets and put it on his credit card. They couldn’t afford it initially and that 3,000$ can make a whole world of a difference when you are low income and have a kid. She’s being selfish

there’s no GUARANTEE anyone will purchase these tickets! people are refusing to pay scalper prices (because no fucking shit), so many go unsold and it was a waste of an opportunity and money. this narrative that it will 100% is false. some cities it will, some cities there’ll be 100 unoccupied seats because people used them as an investment and got burnt

NTA I never got to see Kobe play. And now Celine Dion can't do shows anymore. 20 years of me staring opportunity in the face thinking it will always be there. Go while you can. Be there. Taylor swift isn't going to tour forever.

This. I recently rewatched Die Hard and it's sad to know about Mr. Willis' condition and it could happen to anyone.

My favorite musician is Gary Numan. The man is 65 and his shows are amazing. He’s in great shape, he looks great, and is only getting better at what he does. But I’m going to go see him every chance I get because I don’t know how long he will be at it and most of all it makes me happy!

It was Elton John for me. Loved him all my life. Sang Your Song on my first date with my first girlfriend. That song... It's been decades, we're both married to other people, but every time I hear that song, I'm 20 and we're taking a moonlit walk on the beach, about to kiss for the first time. It was my first REAL kiss. A few years after we broke up, we went to Vegas. My mom and stepped surprised me with tickets to The Red Piano. I. FREAKED. When he started playing that song, I was an inconsolable mess. Not because of the breakup, but because I was right back in that moment with her. Stepdad met us after and tried to sour it by telling me he was just a washed up has been. Friends, he wasn't even there. NOPE. It was...one of my all time favorite artists playing a song that evoked a memory that meant EVERYTHING to me. Next to my homophobic bitch mother who threatened to throw my ass on the street for daring to think about another woman like that. It's still my favorite concert moment.

Did you just spend multiple paragraphs describing your love for Taylor Swift but only mention having a 6 year old child in parentheses and debt to pay off in passing?

I’m obv not a parent but why isn’t OP allowed to do something for herself? It’s not like she’s spending 5k, or taking it away from her child. The tickets are paid for already

If she can comfortably afford it, no one is going to fault her. But when she doesn’t even have enough money in her account for the original price ($155,) and has a child. That’s not a very responsible decision to make, primarily buying it in the first place. But I won’t fault op for not selling the tickets Edit: meant not selling

Ok yeah I can get behind that

Her child is having trouble to get enough food

For the record, and I’m not sure how true it is, but OP stated in another comment that she is now financially stable and only considered food stamps before as extra help because others in her workplace had them. That being said, if she is indeed struggling for food for her child then the concert should be the last thing on her mind Edit: and it sounds like the “debt” she has is a car loan, which most folks have, and HIS student loans. He’s also suggesting maybe they use they money for Disney or Vegas? So it doesn’t seem like they are in too much financial trouble

Especially considering it sounds like she had a rough childhood. Everyone deserves to do nice things for themselves also.

Boom! Made same post as well.

This entire post is a certified Reddit Moment

Thank you for the 1st reasonable comment on this post

INFO: are you guys doing ok financially? Are you making enough between the two of you to cover all necessary expenses, or are you struggling to keep the lights on or put food on the table? If you’ve got the basics covered, then of course the extra cash would be nice, but if the experience is worth more to you then that’s all that really matters. But if you guys are struggling to survive month to month, then you should be prioritizing needs over wants (especially with a child to consider).

Yay, finally a responsible post. No OP is not doing okay if she didn’t have the initial $155 in the bank. Living paycheck to paycheck assuming employed. The clear answer is to at least sell one ticket to get some sort of emergency fund going for that kid and her living circumstances.

Someone did some digging and apparently OP was asking about food stamps a little while ago. That doesn't smack of a healthy financial situation.

Yeah and the fact they have a 6yrs old son to take care of… it’s hard to judge this situation. If she didn’t have the extra money to buy tickets to begin with, I’m inclined to think that money is very tight. If so, I think the responsible thing would be to prioritize family needs.

this is what i want to know too, especially since OP’s bf mentions student debt and car payments. if selling at least one of those tickets would greatly improve their quality of life, i can definitely see where the husband is coming from, and making 5k off of not even $400 is not something that happens often nor easily so this is an incredible opportunity… but then again, seeing Taylor Swift is concert when you have such a strong connection to her music is also a rare and incredible opportunity. i’m really torn on this one

NTA You paid him back. The tickets are yours. His behavior reads very greedy and gross. Especially when he made you beg to the level you did and forced you to get the worst seats possible. Sell his ticket. Use the money to help you, not him. This concert is clearly going to mean more to you than whatever the money can buy. Don't give up such an irreplaceable memory for someone else's greed. His student loans are in his name only. Do not pay them off for him. His child is someone you have no legal right to unless you adopt. You're not even married to this dude. Do not sacrifice yourself for a child he will take away with him if/when he leaves. (That includes providing free childcare when you could be working, btw. Money is power and social security doesn't pay out unless you pay in. Stay paying in.) Do not pay to go on a trip he wants that will mean less to you than this concert. Do this for you because you are worth it.

Why does everyone keep assuming it's just his kid? It's also OP's kid. 6 months ago OP posted to the foodstamps sub asking questions about how her kid can keep qualifying for subsidies. If it's not easy paying for their kid to eat, her boyfriend's not being greedy by being careful buying luxuries and wanting OP to resell. OP hasn't responded to any of the questions about their current financial situation though.

That does change things. Noticed how only certain comments were getting replies from OP.

People want to believe it's not her kid because the whole idea of OP being broke and splurging on herself when she has a kid to provide for is a lot less palatable then just piling on the bf and ranting about financial abuse and how awesome TS is.

If they’re even considering going to Disney, food on the table is not an issue.

It clearly is when you have to apply to food stamps to eat and get by, not shame on doing that, but she has to get her priorities straight.

If they sell the tickets that’s 5k so they can use 1/5 of that for Disney

She commented that it's paycheck to paycheck.

And if she wants BF to come with her to the show, how much is the babysitting on top? Unless they live super close by, a big concert like this is usually home after midnight with travel and can involve a half day at work or whole day to get there early as they stagger entry and exit to stop crushes and problems. My BF took his parents to the Rolling Stones a few years ago in the cheaper seats and their entry or void time was like 3.30pm for a 7.30pm start. That included the time in the queue to get in. Then it took ages to get out and they were only taking public transport which is all night here but so full after they had to wait. They got back about 2am. They had such a good time and he knew was one of the last times his mum’s health could cope but yeah, he had to take a day’s leave, costs at venue and then if you were booking a babysitter or driving as I imagine many Americans are, that is parking and childcare costs on top. I’m on social security and it’s ridiculous to say if you are poor you cannot have anything nice but realistic to say you have to cut your cloth accordingly to what is nice on your budget. 300 bucks on tickets, no mention of how the extra costs will be covered and she was enquiring about food stamps? I was invited on a trip that would cost about this in my currency and I could do it on my current income but it would leave me with no safety net at all while food prices keep rising and I don’t know where my finances will go. I’m gutted. I am missing something super important and genuinely one off but I need to be sensible and it’s just me. No kids who might need shoes snd I live in a country with socialized healthcare… Also this sounds very manufactured: tiny iPod? Teddy bear cable? Begging the BF until she cried? But he has an Amex? And maybe he insisted on the cheapest seats because he knew she could not save up more than 300 back and he was already pissed she begged and whined like a child to use his credit card knowing she had no money and risked putting him in more debt in his name. No risk to her credit rating if she didn’t pay on HIS card. Have a mini Taylor Swift night with your kid until you can afford the next concert. Life sucks right now. I’m having a park hangout instead of the trip because the only thing worse than being poor and missing out is being poor and missing out and having debts you did not need to acquire. 300 for medical treatment? Sometimes debt is worth the risk. 300 for a concert when you are short on food? That’s borrowing trouble as well as money… I swear the Taylor posts are even more eye roll than any ‘prank’ or Mothers Day ones and those are wild.

N T A for refusing to sell, But YTA for pressuring him into allowing you to use his card, to purchase the tickets. He said no multiple times, and that’s a full sentence. And I’m surprised this is being glossed over

This is purely because of the gender and artist. If it were the exact same situation but a dude saying he wants to go to a Metallica concert with the gf and young kid at home wanting to get the 5k, the verdicts would all be YTA.

Best part are the comments of “is this a trait that you want to stay with?” As if wanting to sell the tickets, to pay debts, is the biggest red flag within the post.

When I got to the 6yo kid part I was done. Like you admit you are broke, need to manipulate bf to buy tickets (there is a reason she doesn’t have her own credit card) and btw I have a 6 yo and I obviously have no money in the bank to look after his well being.

He even said they should go on vacation, OP is throwing away 5,000 on a single night when that could fund a vacation and a couple car payments.

Yeah you hit the nail on the head. How dare we expect her to behave like an adult.

Exactly! Imagine if the sexes were reversed in this situation. This sub would be having a field day about loaning that loser broke ass bf money after he manipulated her as well as the no means no declaration. That double standard is very prevalent here.

Someone commenting up above phrases it as “He made you beg to the level you did and forced you to get the worst seats possible.” I think that is too harsh on the BF

Except he probably didn’t want her to beg, he just didn’t want to pay. She **choose** to beg, and he more than likely had her get the worst seats, because he couldn’t afford to pay for better ones on his card. (They have debts)

And yet the top comment and a bunch of comments below it are telling her to leave him. This is one of those posts where the op tries to make themselves look good, especially with the part about her childhood. But leaves out the parts where she lives paycheck to paycheck, had to ask for food stamps and has other debts. Not to mention letting everyone think the kid isn't hers.

NTA. I fought the presale line and emerged victorious with 3 tickets, for myself and. my two daughters, at about $300 each. They were presented as an Xmas gift ( really, THE xmas gift!). My eldest is 15, and starting to look ahead to driving, getting car, etc. At one point I looked at resale prices and told her we could sell the tickets and realistically get enough for them to outright buy her a solid used car ( between 8-10K). She rejected the offer instantly, with a "stop talking. not happening." And so I stopped talking, respected her choice, and moved on. Your bf should too. They are not his tickets. It is not his decision to make. Find a friend who will appreciate the experience and have a great time. I confess to really only knowing the top 40 Taylor songs before getting the tickets and being placed on a training plan by my kids rather than a true fan, but the entire experience was truly magical and memorable and worth all of the stress and drama of getting tickets, planning outfits, cramming lyrics, and fighting to escape the parking lot after the show. And start saving up now for your overpriced $75 hoodie as a keepsake so you're not in the position of needing a loan. Even though you did pay him back, using his card in the first place may be why he developed this misplaced sense of entitlement.

You didn't "fight" anyone you logged on to Ticketmaster from the comfort of your home or office. This narrative you all have crested in insane to feel like you've earned or deserve these tickets.

Both OP and the commentator act like it was a warzone. "Had to fight through all the swifties" like she's Macbeth or something. They literally just clicked 3 buttons and input their card information. Insanity.

INFO: You couldn't afford $155 a year ago. Do you have ~$10k sitting around now in an emergency fund (outside of retirement)? If not, then especially with a kid I would call you the asshole for prioritizing a concert over your family's financial security. Even 10k is on the low end. If you do, then your son is taken care of, your bf should take care of his own loans, and you should go to the concert guilt free.

You got it.

ESH. You paid him back so you don't have to sell it. But he also clearly didn't want to buy them and you basically nagged and cried at him until he said yes. Why is everyone ignoring this aspect of the story? Everyone is saying to dump the bf, but why should he stay with someone that is emotionally manipulating him? Also, is the kid yours?

This. It sounds like they have a significant amount of debt, and she continually guilted him for money that could have gone to more practical purposes. He relents, and now she's sitting on a gold mine. He doesn't sound like an awful guy, just logical. And yes, she paid him back, so they're hers. I say NAH.

The kid is hers and she was asking for food stamps not long ago.

YWBTA. You admit that you were broke, boyfriend said no “numerous times” and you resorted to tears to get him to change his mind. This is manipulative behavior. No is a complete answer full stop. Then you mention your son. Based on your obvious fragile financial situation, this concert is a huge want and not a need. YWBTA is you don’t sell the second ticket so that you have some emergency funds to pad your cash to protect your son’s well being.

Had to scroll way too far to find this. Seconded.

But concerts are so fun y'all! Emergency savings are booirrriinnnggg!

She knew from the jump that she’d get her bf to pay. If she knew she didn’t have any money to spend on tickets why was she even in the queue trying to buy them? This reeks of premeditated emotional manipulation.

ESH is it wise to spend $300+ on a concert when you didn’t have the money? You have a 6 year old son to support. If you’re struggling for money, you need to put your child first and not spend that much on a frivolous concert.

Exactly, but but I’m a broke ass swiftie who had to manipulate my bf into buying the tix. Oh yeah I have a 6yo and no emergency fund obviously.

It’s insane to see N T A when she posted this in the main body! It’s not like she hid the fact that she took money away from supporting her small child.

I think its a mix of this sub being very lenient towards women and Taylor Swift fans(Ive seen multiple posts involving her concerts recently)

Some of these people are hardcore justifying why she deserves to go to this concert.

If you read half the comments, they talk about the kid being the boyfriends not ops. So the way she worded the whole post, plus info that was left out unless you dig through her comments painted her as a victim and the boyfriend as an ah.

Tough one. I can see the logic from both sides. I'm going with NTA as the tickets were bought with the intention of seeing the gig so the current monetary value is irrelevant. However, I can understand if finances are tight there would be an allure to reselling. Can you attend yourself and sell the other ticket for 2.5k?

6 months ago OP was asking about food stamps for her kid. If food is a struggle it's hard to blame the boyfriend for suggesting better uses for the money. Selling the second ticket is a good compromise (but to build up her own savings or pay off her car, not to pay off the boyfriend's loans).

Nta Agreed. Who were u planning to take with you?the boyfriend? Just go your self and sell his ticket. If the value of the experience is not as important to him sell his ticket and use the money to pay off your debt or put in a emergency fund in a bank in your name. The agree ment is complete. You paid him off. He is just being greedy which is not a good thing. Have a great night. Maybe make some better friends. Also keep this in mind. He mentioned you should have known the the price would go up. The price was irrelevant to you but on that point so should he have known. If he is interested he can fight die hard fans to the very last seats available buy up some seats and resell them for a profit.

YTA. You’re living on the edge of financial ruin and have a six year old child. You can’t even afford $155 for a ticket. I understand TS was a huge help to you when you were a kid, but you aren’t a kid now and this money will be a huge help to your kid.

Are we ignoring the fact that she used emotional manipulation to get him to pay for the tickets to begin with? I’m not sure either of them are mature enough for a relationship 🤔

NTA They're not his tickets, this is a once in a lifetime event, and his attitude is revealing a lot about whether or not he respects your interests. If he needs the money for him and his kid, then he needs to get a better job.

I don't know if the son is his or theirs. It says family (boyfriend) (son/6). If the son is his I wonder how long they've been together? Not that that would matter about her selling the tickets. Unless OP sells his ticket and keeps the money for herself. Also OP should make sure they are in a VERY safe place. Preferably out of the house.

It's her kid, according to her history.

ESH. You couldn't afford tickets to a concert so you harassed your boyfriend until he lent you the money against his wishes. He's TA for treating the loan as an investment he gets a say in even after it's been repaid. Are you even allowed to on-sell legit tickets? Who are you taking to the concert?

Dude, this Eras tour has been making people act like nothing else matters in the world. There's no person I'd go see in exchange for the chance at the easiest $5K I'd ever make. HOWEVER, at the end of the day, they're your tickets, and you get to decide what to do with them.

Right! I’ve been to many concerts but none of them have been worth a $5k check in my pocket. Especially nosebleed seats. You’re just watching them on a screen anyway

Info: why did you harass your boyfriend to lend you money on something so trivial? He told you no. That should have been the end of it. You having to beg and cry for it is insanely manipulative, cut that out. You are an adult, not a child who cannot provide for herself.

Gonna go against the grain and say YTA. Not because you want to go to the concert, but because you are so broke you couldn't afford $300 for the tickets, didn't even have the option of using your own credit card, and have a 6yo kid at home. I saw another post that said you have been on food stamps? If money is that tight, and you have the option to either gain $4700 to help bring stability to your child's life or go to a concert, and you choose the concert, you are being an irresponsible parent. The BF is rather irrelevant to this, you should be thinking of your child and the life you can provide him.

I mean, how bad off are you? About to be homeless? I’d sell them. I like the idea of selling one and keeping the other. Honestly there’s no reason to bring someone else with you if you can reinvest that second ticket, especially if you don’t have that kind of disposable income and you have to beg for it. If I got the tickets for my kids, I would definitely take them, knowing I lost out on money. If I bought them for myself, I’d sell them and use the money for my winter tropical vacation.

NTA you paid him back in full meaning that you paid for the tickets and should be the only one that gets to decide to sell them or not. Also, most people I know who are still trying to get tickets to the tour are not paying those ridiculously high prices anyway, so you probably wouldn’t be able to sell nosebleed tickets for 5k.

NAH You bought the tickets so do what you want but your boyfriend is right 5,000 dollars is a million times more valuable then going to a concert in the nosebleeds. Especially if you have standing debts that you could pay off.

Nta but jesus, you cried and begged for Taylor Swift tickets??..... wow... had to go back and check your age and you have a child? You can't afford it then too bad, you don't go, not cry and beg to see some pretty little rich person...

I read this post about a month ago.

Hide those tickets so he doesn't sell them behind your back.

Originally I was going to say NAH but I'm changing it to YTA, Another comment mentioned you were asking about food stamps a few months ago, is it really a good idea to buy concert tickets when you're living paycheck to paycheck with debt and a child?? You spent multiple paragraphs describing your love for Taylor Swift and then quickly went "Oh yeah btw we're in debt and we take care of a child". He also told you no multiple times until you begged enough to get him to buy the tickets that could go towards something useful and now you're sitting on a $5K boost to your emergency funds you are absolutely TA

NAH I’m glad you got tickets to your favourite artist. But adulting is about doing what needs doing. It’s really a question of if what needs doing is needed enough to give up the tickets. They might not be. If that’s the case, enjoy your tickets.

Not agreeing with him, just explaining part of his viewpoint: there's a term called 'opportunity cost' which means 'what else you could buy with the value of that thing'. So while the cost per ticket is $155, the opportunity cost per ticket is indeed $2.5k NAH (except for your parents, wtf?), you both have valid viewpoints. To you the ticket is worth the opportunity cost, to him it's not. That's not greed, that's just preferring getting out of debt to seeing a concert that he's not as emotionally invested in as you are. If you've paid him back then they are your tickets, so up to you whether you sell them. If he's the second ticket, then as others suggest perhaps a good compromise would be to sell his. However scalping also sucks, I know many people who wouldn't resell as a point of principle. Not as simple a problem as it looks. Every answer sucks to some extent. Good luck.