AITA for not giving my roomate access to our wlan password if only I pay for it?



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NTA. If she doesn't want to pay, she doesn't need the password. She's the one who's trying to coerce free wifi here.


It's like buying a treat for yourself and having to pass them everyday makes her feel like she can have one too. Like no dude, no contribution no treat. No monthly payment, no wifi.




I had the opposite problem. Older dude who'd graduated but still lived nearby would just pop by on Fridays. He was in our fraternity, so not completely random, and we let him crash on the couch after a party one time and just couldn't get rid of him. Now it was awkward, he wasn't the best socially (possibly on the spectrum, but a chill dude) and maybe 4 years older than us (23 vs 19 average). But for a house of college kids, showing up on Friday afternoon with crappy weed and shitty whiskey to share... Well yeah man you can hang out. We'd usually order Chinese food and some extra for him.. Eventually though we got girlfriends and the creepy older dude coming around wasn't so cool anymore.


Password is 25 a month and changes every month you can opt out at anytime


This is the way


> she feels "coerced" by me and has the feeling that I am forcing her to use and pay for the internet. **Oh. My. God.** I would have a very difficult time maintaining a calm, composed front here. I suggest telling her, as calmly as possible, that she should not go about using words she does not understand, *especially* when they imply dubious consent, malicious intent, or implied threats/consequences. The modem is probably hidden, and even if it isn’t, that feeling she has if she wants to use it? It’s desire and jealousy, not pressure. She’s an adult. If she desired it, she’d pay for it.


Right?! That’s some creative circuitous reasoning she’s employing, NTA.


Opie just remind yourself, you are paying out of your own pocket. Her wording of being "coerced" is just code for trying to manipulate you. Ignore the person. NTA


Yes! If this were coercion on OP's part, OP would be demanding that roommate contribute to a service she doesn't want. OP is simply paying, all by herself, for a service that only she wants. The roommate is the one coercing OP into letting her use the service for free.


> Nevertheless, she feels "coerced" by me and has the feeling that I am forcing her to use and pay for the internet. NTA. This is fucking wild. She wants to freeload off you and make you feel bad when you don't immediately roll over for her. Tell her that yes, if she wants to use the house wifi, she needs to help pay for it, and if she doesn't, no password.


She's acting like it's something she can't control herself from wanting to use. Like they bought an air fryer or something and just seeing it sitting in the counter makes her want some tasty air fryer fries. I don't see how seeing a modem or whatever a wlan is (am I old now??) out and about would make her think 'hmm there is wifi floating around and I feel entitled to it since it's already here in my air space'.


“The WiFi!! I can feel it on my skin!!”




Wireless Local Area Network You might not be old enough, if you didn't make the connection to LAN (Local Area Network), and pre-internet LAN gaming parties with the CRT monitors and wired draped all over the room connecting all the computers! :D


I contest the existence of tasty air fryer fries!! That is an oxymoron if ever I heard one.


Wait what? I've made fries in the air fryer and they're crispy and proper fries! It's hard to fuck fries up, imo.


I must be doing it wrong 😑


I buy oreda fries I think it's spelled? But they have directions for the air fryer on the back! I've only cooked them maybe 4 times, so I'm no expert on air frying. But it's so much faster than the oven.


Ore-Ida. Potatoes grown in Oregon and Idaho.


The only thing I can think of is that you may be overloading the basket. The smaller the batch, the crispier they’re going to get


Yeah that's the problem with air fryers in my opinion. You can't cook very much at a time. They're great for quickly cooking some chicken tendies and a handful of fries for my kid but not so great at preparing anything for a family meal. If you load up the baskets it just doesn't turn out so well.


They are not as good as deep fried in my opinion but better for you and who wants to have hot oil cooking in the summer. The trick is if you are using fresh potatoes to cut them and soak them in water for a bit, change the water and do it again. Then dry them and spray them in oil then put them in the air fryer and cook like normal. You want to get all the starch they release when you cut them before you cook them otherwise they dont' crisp up in the air fryer like they should


I'm going to try it. I haven't been soaking them.


soaking them for about 15 minutes then replace the water and do another 10-15 then take them out and pat dry on paper towels then spray with avacado oil and cook in the air fryer and you should get better results. Hope that helps!


even if you're just using the frozen fries instead of fresh potatoes, put the fries in a bowl and shake a little bit of your favorite oil over them to coat them before popping them in the air fryer- obvs not the same as deep fried but it's a good 'hybrid' between air fry and deep fry imo.


You may not be a very good cook, my friend. That’s kind of a hard thing to screw up.


Mystery solved 😂


NTA she’s trying to take advantage of you. I had a roommate like this and sure enough as soon as the Wi-Fi was installed she wanted the password- is she aware that the router speed slows down with more devices on it? If she wants to use it tell her to split the cost.


NTA i am not tech savy but can you limit the bandwith a device gets and reduce hers to barely there


You can, but it's better and easier to just not give her the password if she's not paying. If she does end up paying for half of it, it'd be a dick move to throttle her connection like that.


NTA. No money, No password.


NTA You're buying internet access. You've offered your roommate the choice of whether to share it with you or not. You are happy for them to make either choice. They have chosen "not". So they don't get the password. There's nothing to think about here.


“I’ve decided I don’t want other devices connected to it so I have the fastest possible internet so I’m not looking to split fees or anything. And since you already said your data plan is all you need, just pretend it doesn’t exist.” End of conversation.


Just hide the broadcast name, she doesn’t even know it exists. Problem solved.


Disagree - name router “Not Judy’s” or whatever her name is AND if she decides she wants to use it, she pays for the month upfront, no money = changed password.


I was thinking NotYourWiFi


I would be petty and change the password monthly just in case she gets it somehow


Even pettier- leave the password out on a sticky note. Throttle the absolute shit out of any other devices connected to the network, if the router supports it. Funnier- leave the wrong password out. Funniest- purchase an entirely seperate router, just don't connect it to the internet. Leave the password out for that one, hide the SSID of the working internet.


I didn’t realize it turned into / /pettyrevenge lol Most routers nowadays, have a guest Wi-Fi network that you can turn on and throttle the shit out of , or block everything except for YouTube kids


All this is well and good except she has physical access to the router and could just do a reset or hit the connect button on top.


>Nevertheless, she feels "coerced" by me and has the feeling that I am forcing her to use and pay for the internet. That's absurd. You aren't forcing her to use it. If she wanted Wi-Fi she can split the cost, but Wi-Fi isn't free. She has a choice, just like you did: pay and use, or don't pay and don't use.


NTA She doesn't pay, she doesn't get the password. She can choose to rely on her cell data if she wants, but doesn't get a free ride on your internet.


NTA. She's totally trying to blag free stuff. If you want to, you could offer to split 50:50 if she wants to share what is currently \*your\* internet connection, or she can continue to keep her own internet solution and stop asking about yours. It would also be absolutely fine to say that you're taken aback by her refusing to go in with you on the internet connection and then expecting you to give her free access to your paid service, and so you're withdrawing any offer to go 50:50. If she wants a wlan connection she can get one and pay fifty bucks for it.


“Sure, you can have the password - for $25 per month. When you pay, I will provide the password. I will also change said password should you fail to pay for the month.” NTA.


Do you guys split other utilities? Why would this be any different NTA


NTA If she wants to use it, she contributes financially. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. It ain’t rocket surgery.


NTA - She’s cheap


A lot of crazy stories about people wanting free use of things lately...the car guys wife, the master bedroom doesn't cost more guy, and OPs free WLAN roomier should all get a house together and let us know how it works out. NTA. They don't want to pay, they don't want to use it. Imagine your roommate had a birthday cake and you just ate it because the cake was in the house coercing you to eat it.


You are NTA, and don't give in to her nonsensical logic. But do be aware that a lot of routers also allow connection by pressing a button on the back, rather than requiring a password. So keep your router where she can't get at it, and check its admin console periodically on your computer/phone to see what devices are connected to it.


It's also going to be a complete pita when friends, especially mutual ones, come over and you want to give them the guest wifi password.


Which is why you block the MAC address.


NTA: but there might be a better way to explain this for her understanding. Tell her if she would like the password there is a charge of 25 euros. Then change the password at the beginning of each month. The charge for the password is 25 euros


That's perfect. This way she can't 'forget' to pay.


Some people think that positioning it that way would be cheeky or sarcastic, but sometimes the problem is that the brain won’t connect the dots. Just because one persons brain can extrapolate something doesn’t mean someone else’s can. You have to build on something she already understands. She thinks “I don’t want or need home internet, why would I pay for it” so we take the home internet out of the equation. She’s not paying for home internet, she’s paying for the password… if she wants or needs the password, there is a charge


NTA. "Look, this is really simple, right? I am paying 50 euros per month for Internet access. You have two choices: (1) share the cost and use it; (2) save your money and don't use it. There is no free rider option, where I pay it but you use it and do not pay anything. If you find that silly, I'm fine with that. Certainly you are not, in any way, being coerced to do anything."


NTA. She wants to use it, tell her to pay half.


NTA, the router in the flat falls in the same category as your clothes, your room, your personal computer etc. You're paying for it, it isn't communal property. If she wants to use it, then she needs to have a conversation about making it communal property (i.e. pays a portion of the monthly fees). And quite frankly, your housemate is really weird for having an issue with this. It's such a clear cut situation.


Nta Her main argument to you is the assumption that it’s already there, so therefore it’s free. You need to respond that it’s not a free service and that it is only there because you are paying for it to be there. You will not be paying for her use of the line and is she wants to use it then she pays half. Otherwise it’s just tough luck on her behalf as you are not responsible for her only she is, now she needs to make a Decision without whining about it.


NTA, you are not coercing anything, you bought something for yourself and she wants to share for free. If you buy food for yourself does she also expect to eat without paying? Nobody is forcing her to use your wifi, exactly the opposite, you are forcing her NOT to use your wifi by not sharing the password.


op=NTA if she doesn't want to pay a share, she doesn't get the password. Very simple. Plus who says she doesn't "share" the password with others?


I can smell the Germany from this post lol, Wifi is still so expensive and slow/capped + piracy so hardly punished you really have to be careful who you share a password with. NTA and make sure you changed the password from the one on the box, possibly from just one letter so she can keep trying to copy it and fail ahah


"I don't NEED wifi so I'm not going to pay for it but you know, if you get it because YOU need it, I think it's reasonable that I use it. But remember, I don't NEED to use it so like whatevs." NTA


Machst alles richtig Kollege, nicht stressen lassen. NTA.


Your reasoning is sound. She needs to pay to get the password. Tanstaafl NTA


^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have taken out a new subscription with an Internet provider and pay 50 euros a month. My flatmate doesn't want to take part because she thinks she doesn't need Wi-Fi because she already has unlimited data volume with her mobile phone subscription and therefore gets along fine with her hotspot. Personally, I am very dependent on the WLAN because I play video games myself and unfortunately have no reception in the flat from my mobile phone, which would make my hotspot unusable. For me, it's absolutely no problem if she doesn't want to participate in the internet. However, she shouldn't then expect me to give her the password either. But this is where the problem comes in: she thinks it would be silly if there was a WLAN router in our flat and she didn't use it. I then told her that it shouldn't be a problem for her, because she herself thinks that she doesn't need a WLAN. So why would it be silly? You don't need it, so just don't use it. Nevertheless, she feels "coerced" by me and has the feeling that I am forcing her to use and pay for the internet. Again, I don't want to force her to do anything. If she doesn't want to participate, that's absolutely fine with me. But if I subscribe, then she can't expect me to let her participate for free just because the opportunity is there. Personally, I would then just feel taken advantage of, especially because I'm still a student myself and simply don't earn much money and so it's a bigger investment for me. It just feels bad to know that she would be using the internet without paying anything towards it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


NTA If she wants the password, she needs to pay half the bill.


NTA. She can pay and get the password or she can use her data/hotspot. You aren't coercing her into anything, you aren't holding the router hostage to make her pay the whole bill or threatening to throw her puppy down a well if she doesn't pay. You just aren't giving her the benefits of having paid when she hasn't


NTA. That's hilarious! She is trying to coerce you into giving her the password without paying her fair share. Simply having it does not require that she use it. She says she doesn't need it and shouldn't have to pay for it. So be it.


NTA. Tell her that her wanting free internet that you pay for after saying she doesn't want to contribute to it is making you feel coerced.


NTA. She wants to take advantage of you. Don't allow it. It is unfair of her not to chip in if she is going to use it.


You did nothing wrong here but her saying she feels coerced tells me that once it is there, she will never be satisfied until she is using it -- probably a lot more than she ever imagined. I could see this conflict leading her to be permanently ticked off and the day may come when you will be dying for her to just move out. I would talk to her again and tell her honestly that you think she will end up wanting to use it once it's in the apartment. Make it clear that while she can change her mind and share it with you, you absolutely will not allow her to use it for free.


NTA If she wants the password then she needs to contribute.


NTA. Your neighbours likely also have wifi that her phone can pick up the signal on, but she isn’t entitled to use theirs. This isn’t a cost built into your rent, so no, she doesn’t just get it for free.


NTA... if she wants the password, she pays


So are you splitting electricity? Cable? Same argument. If she’s using it then she should split it. She’s being ridiculous to think you should pay the bill and she gets to mooch off you.


That’s funny mental logic.


Nta, this would be like saying well you have a car and I don’t so I don’t understand why I can’t just take it whenever I want 🙄 pay for it if you want to use it 🙄


Hell no she doesn't get service for free just because you have it and she lives there. NTA.


NTA- What the hail?! Even little Timmy paid for his own WiFi to stream.


Nta. You were being very reasonable also don’t multiple users slow down the network? Like when my daughter begin, regular is this device we upgraded our plan because it was not keeping up with the volume. So if this plan is adequate for you now, and then you add another user, it might not actually be enough for you, and then you’re upgrading again to support a freeloader


NTA. Lol feels coerced? You're not forcing her to do anything. Of she wants to use it she can pay half, of not then she's good with her Hotspot. Honestly if it were me I wouldn't care. If her use doesn't effect your connection or speed then it's not even an issue. But it depends on the rest of your relationship. Do you get along well with sharing the cleaning and other household responsibilities? Do you each buy your own food and only eat that and hands off the other person's stuff, or do you both just get whatever groceries are needed and eat together etc? Of everything else is no big deal don't make a big deal out of this. Dude it's 50 a month who even cares. But if she's weird about shit and you guys don't otherwise share stick to your guns.


Roomnate wants it for free, don't give it to her!!!!!!


NTA she is delusional


If she doesn’t need it, then why is she asking for it?


NTA be strong and direct here OP! No payment, no password


I'm going to show my age with this example but here we go. Imagine you pay for a magazine subscription and it's mailed to your shared flat. By your roommates logic she should be able to go get the mail and then read the magazine, even do the crossword puzzle, after not wanting to share the cost of said magazine just because it is delivered to your shared flat. NTA I'd use all my petty strength and change the password every single day.


Nta. She helps pay or she doesn’t use it.




NTA. Pay to play. If she wants to use it she needs to pay half. You're not forcing anything


NTA, this is very weird but not unreasonable at all. It's 2023, internet is a basic utility, mobile data is way more expensive most places, is no where near as fast or reliable as modern broadband/ fibre and I can't imagine trying to live with it long term. Video streaming, gaming, working etc I'd want a high speed Ethernet connection to my computer not hotspotting off my phone! For a roommate to refuse to pay their share is extremely off putting. Granted if she isn't going to use it I suppose it's fine that she shouldn't pay for it. However, if she wants access to it, whether she uses it or not, she has to pay an equal share! It's up to her to pick one of two reasonable options. You can't have it both ways.


NTA she doesn't pay she doesn't get to use the WiFi. It's pretty simple


NTA. This is stupid. Where is the AITA conflict here? Hope no one wastes too much time here.


NTA. If she wants to have access she needs to pay


NTA - Remind her she doesn't need it at all - she has unlimited on her phone and said that was fine for her. Then shrug and walk away cause that convo is done. Make sure she doesn't have easy access to it and that the pw is something she can't guess. She doesn't get free access just because sHe DoEsN'T nEeD iT. In fact she is literally just reminding you why. It's not hers, it isn't meant to be hers, she decided she didn't want to invest in it. You took her at her word.


I was planning a Euro trip a few years ago and noone wanted to go to the countries I was going to, Russia and some others. So i booked all for myself at hostels, private rooms with ensuite, but still hostels so I could socialise. Last minute a friend decided to join me but she didn't want to pay 50euro a night to split the queen rooms I had booked and preferred to book in like 8+ bed dorm rooms to save money. The first couple of weeks she kept trying to sleep in my private room "because it's more convenient for us both!" haha and would quickly drop the subject when I said "sure, that'll be 50E thanks!". Not that it's majorly relevant, but we made the same amount of money as well AND she had gotten a huge inheritence so it's not like she was living off fumes and I was wealthy so that made it even more rude IMO to use your friend like that. Some people just have all the audacity. NTA


She would be using it without paying for it. According to her she doesn't need it she WHY should she have acces to it? NTA


She is trying to get service without paying. Like a neighbor plugging into your outlets. Nope. That’s just rude. You pay to play in this life. Nta


“It makes no sense not to use it.” I mean you’re not paying for it so it actually makes perfect sense not to use it. Does she go into grocery stores and complain when she can’t borrow the cash register??? Will she have a problem if she can’t just eat the ice cream at ice cream shop before paying or it? NTA




What’s the problem - she is being radiated with EM waves from the router but doesn’t get to use it, even though she doesn’t want or need it : some kind of “principle” ? You pay for it, she doesn’t- should you pay her damages? Or let her use it too (not such egregious damage after all). Not reasonable - use the Socratic method on her , ask her to explain better.




NTA. Don't give her something that she does not pay for. Would you buy all the groceries and give her some if she never paid for groceries? She's using some really twisted logic to justify what she wants, that she says *she doesn't need*.


NTA. You are being gaslit. Don't play.


Nta if she doesn't need wifi why would she need the password? O.o


NTA. She doesn’t pay, she doesn’t get access.


NTA. I don't understand why this even needs to be asked. You are not family, yours isn't a public WiFi. Your roommate sounds entitled.


Wait... she says she doesn't need it, and you're not giving her the password, so she can't use it... but then says she feels coerced into using it. That makes zero sense. Tell her if she wants the password, she pays half.. UP FRONT each month. Set it up so only YOU can change the password, then if she doesn't pay up one month, change the password.


She's gaslighting you. NTA she's the one trying to coerce you by guilting you in order to get something for free. Don't give it to her.


I can setup a guest wifi, limited speed, free access 🤔


INFO: Did you suggest splitting the price?


I do believe this is the whole point of the post.