T O P
Hayabusa71

r/AmItheAsshole


EncroachingFate

Sometimes people dont want solutions, just to have someone to vent to. Thats what this sounds like. Wether or not her claims about jealousy are true, youve been direct with her and shared your boundaries. Her feelings are now irrelevant because you have no obligation to be her caretaker. You are your own priority, and that’s absolutely ok. Take care of yourself. Its only when we respect ourselves enough to not be disrespected that we attract like minded people. You got this. NTA in my mind.


Husckle2

Thanks fam 😊


Hattkake

Sounds like you tried being a friend but she doesn't respect you enough. Or she doesn't want you as a friend, just someone who can come clean up the shit after the fun is done. In my experience it is better to be alone than to force yourself to hang out with people who only want to use you whenever they feel like it. You are a decent dude for talking to her about it. If this was me I would just quietly fade into the background and she'd never see me again.


Husckle2

Understandable


niftybandz

Fuck that hoe focus on urself king


Husckle2

Thanks homie


MrBeer9999

You're jealous because you want to bang her. Also she sounds like a hot mess, like if she was a guy you probably wouldn't hang around her. This sounds exactly like the sort of time-wasting, emotionally painful stuff that I would have done as a younger man. These days I'd run a mile in tight shorts to avoid this situation.


Husckle2

I am jealous how??? Bro I am legit Asexual i just can’t sacrifice my mental health


[deleted]

[удалено]


Husckle2

I handled the it exactly how I said, I just told her i can’t be friends with her she keeps hurting herself


slash178

Why is fucking somebody hurting herself


Husckle2

Lord, because if she just got out of a abusive relationship she needs to work on her self and not use sex as a coping mechanism keep in mind I am not the only one who has said this even her best friend has, she’s suicidal and hates herself ( I hate not being there for her) but eventually you’re gonna drag me down with you if you refuse to better yourself


slash178

Why is having sex contradictory to work on herself? Why can't she do both?


Husckle2

It’s not, never said it was. It using sex as a coping mechanism that is the contradictory part. But regardless I shouldn’t be her care taker and been the one getting her at 3 and 4 in the morning if I don’t want to.


slash178

>regardless I shouldn’t be her care taker You should be only because you say that you will be. Just don't go pick her up , don't tell her you will, tell her Uber is there for her. That's it. Set those boundaries or quit whining. What you should not be is her fucking moral guardian, judging her for "coping mechanisms" like you're her psychologist. You're not.


Husckle2

So I am suppose to support self destructive behavior and you and I both know Uber can be dangerous for young women


slash178

Lmao you treat her like a fucking infant. You put yourself in this position. You two cannot be friends until you respect her as an adult. Grown ups can handle getting home late from hookups. You picture her as some helpless animal and then whine about being her caretaker... Pathetic. You don't have to support anything. You don't have to weigh in on her sex life AT ALL.


Husckle2

God who hurt you, you come off as you have a chip on your shoulder agains men, so I am not suppose to want to see her better herself and find a man that treats her right understandable


Husckle2

I am also not judging her, not really sure where you get them from. If somebody try’s to give you advice on how to better yourself and not let you make bad decisions that arnt good for you. That’s judging….damn I feel bad for that train of thought


slash178

Yes you are, it's judgmental to say that someone is using sex as a coping mechanism etc.


Husckle2

She is tho, and that’s a thing she was legit said she was although not being moral wrong it’s unhealthy


slash178

You're being judgmental, telling her who she has to bang and getting all pissy with her when she bangs someone else. Clearly jealousy plays a role but also silly moralizing.


Husckle2

Yep that what it’s totally for sure yep, again I am asexual so no I just can’t deal with her toxic bullshit and being the one she dumps it on. Also us “good men” if you even wanna call me that ( considering this post is about a abusive bf. We arnt here for you to use and trauma dump on we are allowed to set boundaries


slash178

>I just can’t deal with her toxic bullshit and being the one she dumps it on. We arnt here for you to use and trauma dump on Huh? What happened to this person moments ago lmao: >I was there for her all day basically it’s what friends do so I don’t care.


Husckle2

Again your comments make no sense bro, I don’t care about being there but after months of deal with her toxic ness, and being called to come get her at 3 am multiple times when she’s drunk getting her from a new guys house is not something I wanna do


slash178

Then say no. That would be setting boundaries that are completely fair and understandable. Are you a goddamn chauffeur? But doing it anyways and then moaning about it and judging her for it is pretty pathetic. It's on you to set those boundaries not on her to read your mind.


Husckle2

Judging her….lord..how did I judge her


Husckle2

And I am not maoning about it, I did it one last time because she needed me and told her I won’t be doing again, and I can be her friend if she doesn’t start working on herself and be drug down with. But completely understandable that a man with boundaries who doesn’t want there friend with attachment issues to not use sex as a coping mechanism, is seen as jealous a asexual one at that lord


slash178

>Judging her….lord..how did I judge her How about >friend with attachment issues to not use sex as a coping mechanism LMAO. You are oblivious beyond belief.


Husckle2

That’s not judging, even her best friend who is a women by the way agrees with me, this ain’t healthy behavior and she’s doing to feel loved and fill a void in her only she can fill with bettering her self I am sorry for you ever hurt you but I am not arguing with you anymore because your line or thought is beyond toxic and childish


slash178

>she’s doing to feel loved and fill a void in her only she can fill with bettering her self Perhaps the most judgmental sentence ever said.


Husckle2

Not even judgemental bro, everyone knows you can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself but congrats on the victim mentality