Why is it that it’s ok for Women to have Onlyfans, but men get mocked for using prostitutes?

Over the past few years the female body and sexual positivity movements have been on the rise. While I personally do not like Onlyfans, I do think it’s good for people to feel comfortable with who they are and do what they want. So we’ve seen a large uptick in stuff like Onlyfans and other sex work things. While this isn’t totally accepted by our society, it does have a large and vocal backing, especially by the younger generations.

So why is it that those same people will make fun of men for seeking out sex workers? If sex work is real work and shouldn’t be villainized, why are these young men being ridiculed by the same people who say that it’s ok to have an OF? I’ve seen it time and time again, here on Reddit and on Twitter, as well as a few times IRL.

With the amount of men swearing off dating increasing, the likelihood of them going to sex workers for release also increases. So why should they be ridiculed?


Because using a prostitute implies an inability to find sex the "regular way".


Onlyfans implies an inability to get money the "regular way".


Only fans implies an inability to get money in any way. Less than 10% of OF accounts make more than $1000 a month and the average (meaning 50% make less) is something like $150 a month. Most of those girls are destroying their reputation for tiny sums of money.


Yes, but the thing is that it's easy to sell your butthole pics and that's why they do it. Even a tiny bit of money is a win. It's the hard, dangerous, and or disgusting jobs that make the big bucks, and as a general note, women don't want hard, or dangerous, or disgusting. So, women tend to accept lower paying easy jobs, and thus any extra money from "basically doing nothing" is an absolute win to them. Furthermore, there is also the sexual liberating freedom shit and how people give them attention for being a hoe. Attention is a drug and can affect both men and women but women tend to be way more vulnerable to it.


lmfao "big bucks" dont go to the people who do hard, dangerous and gross work. they go to people who wear suits and live in airconditioned luxury.


It would surprise you how much some blue collar folks who do dirty and exposed jobs make.


no, it wouldnt. its not secret information that one can make a few hundred grand a year, doing hard labor but if you want to talk about bucks that are actually big, youre gonna be talking about people who really dont have physically hard, dangerous or repulsive jobs like sewer work. like actors and musicians and internet stars and shit, but mostly executives and the like.


I know a man who makes 500k installing heat pumps. That may not surprise you. It surprised me. But yes the big time outliers aren’t blue collar. But blue collar people can often make more than even well paid white collar workers.


Poop patrol clean up crew in San Francisco get paid 185k a year. Surgeons get paid into the 300k dollar ranges. Petroleum Engineers start at 100k and go over the 200k mark. Just because you own someone or trade stocks doesn't mean it's an actual job. You're just freeloading off existing systems. People who have to do things with their lives have jobs.


How does one qualify for one of these big money poop patrol jobs?


Software engineers, don’t wear suits and generally make well into the 6 figure range.


>the average (meaning 50% make less) You're thinking of the median.


the OF and sex work conversations are so clearly biased against women its crazy. plenty of men have OF and are sex workers and yet you hear nothing disparaging them. are there more women? sure, but there are still millions of male sex workers in the world, and yet somehow it's just the women who should apparently feel shame for doing it.


They’re no more respectable. They just don’t try to frame it as empowering, and as such are ignored for lack of optics.


The vast majority (80%) are women. I've got no respect for the men who do OF either but they're clearly the minority. Why do we rarely hear how men get domestically abused too? Maybe because women are the majority of domestic abuse? Why do we rarely hear how many men get raped or forced to penetrate? Maybe because women are the majority of rapes? People generally talk about a population based on who the majority is.


But how much do men on OF make compared to women on OF?


Yeah, I'm into bodybuilding and I know more men with OF accounts than women lol Bodybuilding is an expensive hobby.


Not only that, on the mainstream Reddit pages I notice a strong anti male sentiment. I've seen topics where women want to break up with their partners for having visited prostitutes in the past and replies that imply that any man who has ever visited a prostitute is just an evil person who abuses women.


I mean either way the industry isn't exactly safe, clean, or regulated. When a guy participates he has no way of telling whether the prostitute is voluntarily doing so, of age, and clean of STIs. Pretty messed up industry to contribute to regardless. The man may not be directly evil but he may be supporting, funding, and reinforcing it.


Part of the reason why this industry is poorly regulated is because it still operates in the shadows. Banks will frequently refuse to finance the sex industry and therefore they are deeply intertwined with illegal industries who finance the brothels and these people have already shown to have no content for the law. I have frequently visited prostitutes and I always made sure there were no signs of abuse. I would never meet with a foreign girl who's advertisement was written in the third person. Or when I'm calling the woman and a man picks up the phone I would not continue.


It could change if we legalized prostitution but America is too puritan for that.


It was legalised for a period of time in parts of England. It still doesn't fix the underlying issues of poverty and addiction and all the other stuff that comes with it.


I agree with you, but i don't see how that addresses the counterpoint that being an e-whore implies you have no marketable skills that are worth any value to society.


Selling your body for money implies not being able to find a job the "regular way"


Sure, but "I have a bad CV" and "nobody wants to have sex with me" are pretty different issues to have.


Have you *seen* people who frequent Reddit? Both of those things combined describe probably 90% of the website's population.


Plenty of things you can do to make your c.v more appealing it just takes a lot of hard work, time and effort. Also plenty of things you can do to make yourself more attractive, it just takes a lot of hard work. time and effort. Both issues as cheap cop outs for people who don't want to put minimal effort into human goals. So neither will get respect from society.


Using a prostitute makes me think of all the diseases they have encountered. A man that’s willing to risk that is gross imo. And condoms do not protect from herpes as well as a whole list of other things


Or it could imply that you have a ton of money and find no value in “finding sex the regular way”


It's cheaper


And being a prostitute implies an inability to find male support the "regular way".


Who wants to have sex with a parasite that will lie and steal her way through life, with support of all around her because they can't see or refuse to see her deceptions? Or worse yet, be "found" by courts in a divorce to be guilty of whatever she accuses him of, just so she can steal everything he has? Or during the dating phase where she is likely to claim he raped her when she is the one who instigated the events? In a world where malicious narratives pave the way for such court cases, and the guy gets punished for following rules, the prostitution becomes the safest way to find sex...... It isn't that the guy can't find sex the regular way, it is that he can't find sex with one who won't lie about him... The problem is how much lies are supported by officials who don't know how to seek and find the truth, and how often the liars succeed in their maliciousness be triggering officials with emotional triggers and make them believe the lies... It's easier to get officials, and hence people, to believe lies today than the truth.


I feel for you dude, but you've been drinking too much of the internet kool aid. There's a few weirdos out there to be sure, but not nearly enough that you should be scared away from dating women.


It is a double standard that for women “sex work is work” but men who take part are treated as if they’re deviants still. We need to come to a consensus but I don’t think we’ll ever be able to come to an agreement that will satisfy the majority of people sadly. I always find the maker/supplier worse than the user/participant (in any aspect, not just this); just because there is a demand for something doesn’t mean it should definitely be sold. Especially if using or participating is considered shameful for that person? That just tells me they’ve considered the shame and ridicule most likely and continued anyway. That says a lot about the situation(s) they might be in that pushed them to this point. [I am of course **only** talking about single people who do this, if you’re in a relationship or married and doing this, I do not have nice words for you.] The absolute same can be said for anyone doing OF to put themselves through school or to pay rent or something. It says a lot more about the institutions/systems than it does about the individuals who wouldn’t normally do something like this but feel like they have to just to make ends meet. I just think monetizing human emotions/needs like empathy, conversation, comfort, and sex will lead us down a dark path socially. Human beings NEED these things. It’s not fair to turn them into a commodities and then judge/shame people who end up needing it enough to pay for it.


I like how you put it. Who is worse, the drug user, or the drug dealer, the smoker, or the tobacco company? In pretty much any other situation, the supplier is considered more (usually by far) malevolent than the consumer.


Yeah, exactly! They are putting actual toxicity into society. The same with fast food and even our fresh food and those health/safety standards. Some blame the supplier, some people blame the consumer, some people blame standards, etc. What that should tell us is: it’s really not about pointing fingers, it’s about realizing all of this is fucked up in *some* way and work together on some kind of middle ground to actually fix things at some point.


well said


I don’t think it would be so deviant for men to take part if it wasn’t illegal. Like Nevada has a very different attitude towards it all, like strip clubs in Vegas. It’s just assumed men are their to gawk at women, and women make good money often as clubs and sex work are much more in the public eye. I also am under the impression that countries where prostitution is legal don’t have the same stigma towards men. On the other side, I think recently women have been given more moral lenience in sex work since historically the power balance has favored mens role in the exchange. Like it used to be ok for a man to treat a woman like an object, and pay for her body and get to do whatever they want. Recently it’s shifted to protect the woman, as exploitation of women and their bodies has become scrutinized more.


Well I saw some people in countries where it’s legal saying how some men there still get judged and shamed for it so I’m not sure. Regardless I think people will be shamed for it and someone will be unhappy here in America. Yeah, I definitely noticed that change. I’m more surprised at the change from “don’t objectify me” to “objectify me for $4.99.” I 100% understand consent but like I don’t think that helps the climate/dating scene for women who don’t consent or don’t want to be looked at in that light.


Just because something is legal, doesn't mean you won't be judged for it. People literally judge each other because of what kind of dog they have. Being judged is part of the human experience.


>Yeah, I definitely noticed that change. I’m more surprised at the change from “don’t objectify me” to “objectify me for $4.99.” That's capitalism. Capitalism is now basically fully internalized for lots of people. If they have the goods or services, they are going to charge for it especially if it pays better and the hours are better than other goods and services that they can provide. It's the same as online porn but now spread to everyone instead of couple of select production houses with abusive contracts.


It’s not JUST capitalism, capitalism is just private organisations and citizens owning the means of production. It’s also commodification and consumerism.


I do get what your saying, but I feel it misses a lot of real world context. As a very conservative society, the US is slow to implement reforms. It's still more difficult for women to be in positions of power as that is still seen as better suited for men. That's in both the political and corporate structures. As a result, women's body autonomy is being dismantled, and women continue to get paid, on average, less than their male counterparts for the same job. Meanwhile, unrelated (at least directly) to misogyny in general, general wages have stagnated, greedflation is on the rise, capitalists are buying up the available houses to choke the supply, and now even "no-fault" divorce is being threatened. Higher education costs are up 100 times 60 years ago. And then there is real toxic masculinity, that is being defended by people who think that's the only type of masculinity, to infantalize women, like Jordan Peterson or Andrew Tate do. Where am I going with this? There are women who feel that they need to do sex work, real or imagined. But in the US, we have no way to know that women are not trafficked. If r could address safety, and address all the other inequalities I've outlined, maybe fewer women would feel that they need to do these things to survive or succeed. There still may be some that do it for the noble reason of giving men orgasms (or intimacy) for money, but Is guess the pool would be much smaller. As it stands, we don't know what percentage of sex workers planned to do it since gradeschool, so people who do visit sex workers may have to endure the "creep" stigma. Go get a real doll or flashlight and spend your post-nut clarity on self improvement and therapy. How about a society where we encourage all those who feel they weren't "picked for a team" but want to play, join a social group and pair up?


Fuckin A


Women are playing the game. Men are the idiots enabling the game.


It is not okay for people to mock men for going to prostitutes. But who is going to stop people from mocking anyone? We do it for everything unfortunately. Also remember though that in sex work the person who gets stigmatized is the sex worker almost universally. Even historically when police catch prostitutes they often let the "John" go and arrest the worker. It should all be legal anyways.


In my country prostitution is legal and there is still a stigma.


Some people just like to hate and look down on others to make themselves feel superior.


It's deeper than that. There indeed used to be a stigma that it was "dirty" and "cheap". Although there were very exclusive whorehouses in Amsterdam where it was known that prime ministers and captains of industries would frequently visit. And these days it seems to be more the feminism movement that just hates men who are pulling the cart in judging men for visiting prostitutes.


I would revisit the "feminist movement" statement- as there are many different factions with opposing views on sex work - some very much pro, some pro in terms of protections for the workers, some neutral/un involved as it is not their priority, some anti for due to the ick factor around sex, and some that think that it is essentially rape. Men can cause and have caused great harm to workers, but some really enjoy their job. Usually the people judging are anti sex/anti sex work in general, which has existed for a long time (and not the sexual freedom type of feminists. I don't think there was ever an era where it was cool to see prostitutes, just maybe more accepted during times where religious fanaticism was weaker.


At least in the majority of the world the stigma is earned.


Only fans makes you money. Using a prostitute costs money. Knowing how to cook a nice burger is more commendable than just buying one someone else made.


Don't forget that a man who watches porn is creepy, but a woman watching porn is "in charge of her own sexuality".


A woman buying a sex toy is normal, but a man doing it is a pervert.


Do you think these paradoxes are more influenced by the in group or the out group (men for men or women for men) in these scenerios? Obviously: these opinions aren't monoliths in our society: obligatory disclaimer. However, if normative perceptions of sex and sexual deviancy are dictated by regulations from within the gender (men to other men) then it would indicate a social sanctioning for the purposes of hierarchy... if it originates from the outergroup (women to men) then it states a preference for behavior... (this works for member of tye gender with different sexual preferences too since it's centered on the group distinction of gender and not sexual preference... lesbians still expect men to act in a certain way, yo).


Honestly, I'm not sure and anything I've got on it is just speculation. I suspect that it's both, and that it comes from different places. For women, I think that it's stemming from things like a sex-positivity backlash to traditional views of female sexuality. Maybe mixed into that is a general focus on female sexuality as something meant to appeal to men (if my phrasing makes sense. I'm talking about stuff like men seeing lesbians and framing it as something that's meant to be sexually appealing to men.). As for men doing it, I can see a few things being the cause. There's a lot of derision for men who do things like *spend money* on porn or other ways to get off that don't involve having sex with another person. I think it's maybe seen as a weakness. I think that this comes from both men and women, but for different reasons. Maybe it comes from men doing things like sexually assaulting women, flashing them, etc. that makes people generally cautious of what is seen as male perversion.


That’s sad.


A woman using a vibrator is sexy but me using my FuckMaster 3500 with Ultra-Realistic Vagina and Anus is creepy


LMAO that's quite the investment you must've made for that


What? Men watching porn is so normalized it’s basically a given…


There's a difference between it being normalized and it being accepted as ok. It's normalized, but that's also why men are generally labeled as porn addicts.


Will you give it up




I'm not sure it's okay for women to have an onlyfans. Not in public opinion, at least. There are still women being terminated for it or treated differently for it.


Lol right? That's the craziest part of this weird MRA-adjacent post. The implication that women using OF are anything but demonized by the majority of the public (and a lot of Reddit.)


A person buys sex to get off, but a person sells sex to make money. And we have more respect for someone working at their job than we have for someone trying to get off (somehow the puritanical work ethic shows up even with sex work). If we had a truly free market, where you didn't *have to* work in order to survive, then it would make sense to hold accountable the buyers and sellers in the same way. But, as it stands, a person has to pull down cash somehow. Desires and demand are more or less within the control of the buyer (putting aside artificial demand); we all understand that the supplier who meets the demand is doing what they have to in order to make a living.


I’ve seen both get mocked


Women get mocked for having an OnlyFans.


And once again, as I have said many times before and in my post, I know. I never said they didn’t get mocked for it.


You implied it in your post title...


Never judge a book by its cover dude. If you’re commenting on a post just by it’s title, you’ll never know the full argument


Pretty simple. Women support other women. Men don't support their fellow men. That's also why body acceptance has gotten a huge increase for women and not men, short and fat men are still ridiculed by everyone.


I feel like this comment is really wrong, I'm surprised it's upvoted. Are men the ones who criticize men for using sex workers? I've never heard of that at all. In fact, my understanding is that it's a common trope that men want to go to the strip club with each other and often times try to hook up with the strippers. I know the guys I knew in college all did. They aren't being judged by other men... the other men were usually encouraging it lol Sugar daddy/baby situations are also increasingly popular... which again implies the opposite of this. The 70 year old guy banging the bombshell 25 year old isn't getting criticized by other men lol Even the last comment - have you been on TikTok or Twitter ever? The people criticizing men for being short aren't men... it's women lol this comment makes me feel like I'm living in opposite world. Guys that hook up with prostitutes don't give a shit if other men know. They give a shit if women know cause it makes them look bad. The concern with men knowing is literally the risk that they might tell a woman you like lol


>Women support other women. OP completely lost me here. I agree with you 100%. Generally speaking, dudes don't tear each other down. Women make everything a passive aggressive competition between themselves.


>dudes don't tear each other down lol i mean, this is just blatantly untrue. there are plenty of instances of men supporting other men, and plenty of instances of men tearing each other down.


But where are examples of guys doing things like women have done collectively for each other without it centering around attacking or regressing women? Men are selling each other toxic traits and attitudes as reasons for and solutions to their problems only making things worse as more women don't want to and more importantly don't *have to* deal with that shit anymore.


>But where are examples of guys doing things like women have done collectively for each other without it centering around attacking or regressing women? You'll have to provide me with an example of what you are looking for. Generally speaking, men tend to be neutral towards one another - they don't put each other down, but they don't go out of their way for other men. >Men are selling each other toxic traits and attitudes as reasons for and solutions to their problems only making things worse as more women don't want to and more importantly don't have to deal with that shit anymore. Again, I'm not really sure what you are asking here or what to tell you. My life experiences are anecdotal, but it is usually women being nitpicky about people (and by people, I mean mainly other women) on a day-to-day basis, especially at work. Women just like to talk about people as a subject way more often than men do.


In general: \- Men both collectively support and collectively attack women \- Men neither collectively support nor collectively attack men \- Women collectively support and do not collectively attack women \- Women collectively attack and do not collectively support men


I think there is one notable exception to your third point. - Women both collectively support and collectively attack mothers. I think it’s improved over the last 5 years or so, but I still see it, especially with new mothers.


Women have a markedly higher in group preference for other women than men do for other men. It's researched and published sociology https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15491274/


Ok. That doesn’t mean that men criticize men for using sex workers more than woman criticize men for it. It doesn’t even imply it.


I don't know. I think it's more degrees. Strip clubs were encourage when younger, now that I'm older they're more discouraged. Prostitutes were always a no go. "Damn so and so have to pay for sex, what a loser. He ain't got no game I don't have to pay for my pussy. Man he don't know what that ho got, his dick going to rot off" Or for the older guys dating younger girls. "Did you see that little hotty so and so has. Chill bro, she is bought and paid for. There goes so and so's nursing home money. lol" So maybe it depends on your friends or area, but if a guy was using a sex toy I don't know a single guy that wouldn't make fun of him and I don't mean lightly make fun of him. The jokes would all imply that if he was a real man he could get a woman.


Well, you say it’s encouraged when younger but discouraged when older, but the quote you used is talking like an 17 year old. Adults don’t talk like that. “Oh so and so went to Amsterdam and picked up some prostitutes in the Red Light District.” “Nice, my wife would kill me.” Old adult men don’t care about the sex life of other adult men. There’s also the whole understanding when you reach a certain point that you’re really paying for the prostitute to leave after (sex with no strings). I don’t think your second quote about an old guy with a hot young woman is something that would ever be said. I live in a place with a lot of sugar babies and sugar daddies. “Paying for pussy” isn’t embarrassing when you’re rich af and banging models 60 years younger than you lol


Your comment is crazy to me. I saw OPs comment and nodded my head enthusiastically because of how much I agreed at first. No real argument, just surprised at how different our life experiences are!


You think that 70 year old men are criticized for banging 25 year old models in sugar daddy situations? I’ve never heard someone say that or imply that in my entire life so I’m a little surprised. Are you a man or woman? I wouldn’t say it’s a difference in life experience, I’d say it’s a difference in perspective.


>I've never heard of that at all. In fact, my understanding is that it's a common trope that men want to go to the strip club with each other and often times try to hook up with the strippers. I know the guys I knew in college all did. They aren't being judged by other men... the other men were usually encouraging it There's a difference between going to the strip club where women are objectifying themselves and trying to "spit game" good enough to get one to hook up with you and going to seek out and pay a prostitute. The problem most women have with prostitutes is the exploitative nature of it here because it's not properly regulated and sex workers mostly do not have a system to report abusive/trafgicking sotuations or clients. >Sugar daddy/baby situations are also increasingly popular... which again implies the opposite of this. The 70 year old guy banging the bombshell 25 year old isn't getting criticized by other men lol Aside from all the betabux, simp, cucked sentiments you mean? >Guys that hook up with prostitutes don't give a shit if other men know. They give a shit if women know cause it makes them look bad. The concern with men knowing is literally the risk that they might tell a woman you like lol If they don't give a shit then why do these alpha/sigma dude-bros make out like they're just "so baller" or wtfever having a bunch of hot chicks only to get called out at having [hired them.](https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/sex-worker-confirms-red-pill-alpha-males-hire-women-pose-photos-pretend) If it's not gonna lower your Male Statis, why not just flex the "I'm so Rich I can Rent Bitches when I want them" angle?


Some of these responses are making me question the ages and life experience of the responders. I’ll just address one of the crazier things in your comment - no one is calling a 70 year old man a cuck for banging a 25 year old model. Come on now.


Women lie to other women and men keep each other accountable. Fixed it.


Don’t forget men lie to women too. Plenty of dudes out there who will date a girl with OF. Tell her it’s great, empowering, or whatever he thinks she wants to hear to tap that. Then bounce after a couple romps, perhaps keep her around for recreation, but not take her seriously. So yeah it’s not all on women. Women also hold men accountable. Although not to the degree that other men do. So I think it should be: Society lies to women, but holds men accountable.


[“Women are the biggest liars”](https://youtu.be/ws9vrcEfhKQ)




Fair points. I agree that men looking for some quick action will definitely lie.




no you didn't lol


This so fucking much. Women have a much stronger sense of camaraderie and loyalty, they’ll often back each other even when they know they’re wrong.


Some of the support women give other women is completely fake. Some women are horribly mean to other women behind closed doors and sweet/nice publicly. We can also be extremely petty, vindictive, spiteful, etc. Actual support does exist and it’s beautiful when it does! Men should absolutely have that too. A few months ago some dude tweeted about how [this magazine cover](https://www.usmagazine.com/stylish/news/pregnant-rihanna-graces-british-vogue-cover-with-asap-rocky-son/amp/)was emasculating and really, he did all the emasculating by criticizing the cover the way he did. Body acceptance should 100% extend to men of any size/shape. A lot of men argue “if women can be picky about height, men can be picky about weight” but that’s just going tit-for-tat and all it does is divide us further. The body positivity movement has gotten the most pushback from men and from what I’ve seen, to a lot of men the worst thing a woman can be is fat. As a woman, the worst thing a man could be is dangerous. If a heavier guy was interested in me and was my type personality/sense of humor wise, I’d date him. I’d also date a guy close to my height, I’m 5’3 so it’s pretty uncommon for a man to be shorter than me. I can understand a tall girl preferring a partner taller than her but I believe a lot of the women requiring a man 6’+ don’t have their own standards, they’ve just adopted society’s standards.


This is pretty insightful. I would add- in the two scenarios- the woman is the one making money, thereby her benefit is more readily apparent.


This. And women catch tons of shit for having OnlyFans, primarily from Men. And all of it is fallout from Purity Culture and Religion which labels Female Sexuality as Corrupting and Virtue based and Male Sexuality as Predatory snd Conquest based. It's a big part of why no one bats an eye at women having vibrators(ie she's keeping her sexuality/drive in check) but men owning sex toys is still frowned upon(ie he's failing his drive/submitting to his sexuality).


Let’s not forget that it is still socially acceptable to SURGICALLY MODIFY men’s organs to intentionally reduce pleasure too.


Women feel threatened when men can have their needs met on their own terms.


Men feel threatened when women can be financially independentant on their own terms.


The vast majority of OF accounts barely make anything and if that was their only source of income they'd be so far below the poverty line it's not even funny. The average income from OF is less than 8k a year.


Is that because the attractive ones are making a lot and the unattractive ones who do it for fun are making nothing?


I'm sure that's true for some men


Please tell me you see how this same logic can be applied to your original comment.


There's no universal stigma for financially independent women.


This is key. If anything it's the opposite. They are a strong independent woman. It gets respect and praise not negative stigma


Absolutely they do - my friend's sister was told not to get a masters because if she was too educated she would "never find a husband". If my female friends don't want kids it's a shame for the whole family because they are denying grandkids - even when they prioritize work. My mothers friend had a job and when her mom got sick - she was expected to quit/ relocate halfway across the country to live at home rather than her brother that lived next door. Women are expected to be wives/carers first then successful. If we prioritize our jobs we are selfish and rude.


Yeah right lol


I'll tell my brother in law you said he needs to stop being a stay at home dad because hes threatened. thatll show him.


Ok...owned I guess?


I'm sure that's true for *some* women


If it’s consenting adults all the way around, let the transactions commence!


Men and women are different and have vastly different sexual strategies. And as such, these kinds of "double standards" will always exist. I find that most women consider any restrictions upon their sexuality or sexual selectivity by men to be abhorrent "misogyny" or "systemic sexism". Conversely, any choice or standard that men exercise that results in women having reduced options be those in dating or sexual selection will also be vilified as "toxic" or "misogyny". Women use shame and gaslighting to get what they want and they are more effective at using these methods than men because it "feels" genuine to them. Most women aren't aware that, in most cases, it's just evolved behavior.


Because many of them men who go to prostitutes don't see them as equals. And those same men malign women on only fans. Honestly SW should be equal, regulated and workers protected and unionized.


Nevermind I totally misinterpreted your point. Yeah, treating the men who use sex workers as weirdos while also supporting the sex workers themselves is a double standard.


This reminds me of an incident that happened a few years ago at a gaming expo. This woman, a social media influencer I think, tweeted how it was disgusting the there women in skimpy clothing dancing to advertise one of the games. Sexploitation blah blah, misogyny blah blah, and whatnot and a bunch of feminists clapped and agreed. Well, a dancer who often does that kind of work started giving her grief saying that they are classically trained dancers that love their work and who was she to judge them, etc, and the feminist clapped and agreed. Then she had to clarify that the women were great! Slay queens! Live your truth! Be empowered! ect It was the MEN that were the problem, misogyny blah, blah, toxic masculinity blah, blah. And all the feminists clapped and agreed. So according to her, and all the so-called feminists agreeing with her, the women were fine to do what they wanted, but the men that gave them the opportunity and the men that enjoyed the show were all toxic man-children. This is just more if the same. The women that have only-fans are stunning and brave but the men that make their only-fans profitable are losers, simps, pervs, ect.


You know 99% of women don't have an onlyfans. This is such a weird comparison.


And 99% of men don’t use prostitutes either


I think the number of men that use prostitutes is way way higher than the number of women that have an onlyfans. Prostitution is legal in a lot of countries. They number of women that could actually make real money from onlyfans is way way less.


Do we? Do we really get mocked?


I mock both OF women and dudes who hook up with prostitutes. The only people who are accepting of sex workers, are sex workers themselves, coomers, and left leaning soys


Lmao wtf are “soys”?


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Oh ok thanks


TIL people who don’t concern themselves with the sex lives of others are “coomers” or “left leaning soys”.


No their mainly porn addicts


Interesting perspective to be sure. Weird that it’s unfathomable to you that someone literally does not care what someone else does sexually.


When did I say that?


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Younger generations have no experience, that will change with time. Why do you care though ? Lets not encourage people to do fucked up things.. anyway of girls gets a lot of shit as well.


Women also get mocked for having an Onlyfans.


Yes, but as I said it’s getting more support over time. I also said specifically those giving support are the same people mocking men for using prostitutes


I'm just going to jump on this comment thread. Im shocked no one I've seen has brought it up, but I think the main reason prostitution is more stigmatized is because of legality. Men are actively contributing to an illegal industry by soliciting prostitutes. Because it is also not a regulated industry in many countries sex trafficking is also really common and verifiability of whether participation is voluntary, age, and lack of STIs is not really possible. It's a really dark sketchy industry and for this I think it is fair that men's contribution is stigmatized. If it was safe and legalized this might be a different conversation. OF is pretty likely to be voluntary, and a woman doesn't participate in a dark criminal industry by doing so. Pretty big difference.


See, this is a well thought out and typed answer. Thank you


Men gotta work on lifting eachother up instead of tearing eachother down all the time. I think if we just stopped normalizing hating on other men we’d start to see a shift in a more empathetic direction.


I feel like the people who don’t support men buying prostitutes and the people who support women having onlyfans are two different groups of people.


men also have onlyfans


Because they're opposite comparisons. A woman with an onlyfans is assumed to be attractive enough to profit off of it. A man who hires prostitutes is assumed to be unattractive enough to need to pay for sex


Because it is a systematic plan to destroy the US society


Are we really going to pretend that women are not mocked, or even have their lives destroyed, for having an Only Fans account? Wow. On what actual planet is it viewed as worse to patronize 'whores' than to be one? Oh, the poor victimized men.


> While this isn’t totally accepted by our society, it does have a large and vocal backing, especially by the younger generations. I didn’t say they didn’t face setbacks whatsoever, please do not put words in my mouth




Nice comeback, did the other kids at daycare teach you it?


We're talking about sex and sexual innuendo, and your mind goes to...children?


No, it goes to where would such a poor insult come from.


Still made your butt boil, didn't it? :)


Eh, not really. I’ll admit it annoyed me, but that’s due to the original comment being one of many that said the same thing, something I never said.


It's the same thing if we only count pornography. Men who enjoy porn are considered simps (especially men who obtain pornography **legally**), but women who watch porn are examining their, oh so beautiful, sexuality. They say women mature faster than men, but let me tell you this: men keep their silliness because they have a sense of humour.


So the mods removed my comment for hurt feelings. So much for freedom of speech.


That’s lame


I have no respect for prostitutes, including, but not limited to, OnlyFans prostitutes. Women might encourage each other to be prostitutes, but only the ones who also have no morals.


Because feminism is anti-male ideology.


It NOT ok for a woman to have only fans (according to most people and myself). Sex work is not real work, it should be villainized and criminalized, and it is accurate and true that men who seek out prostitutes are no worse but no better than the prostitutes themselves. The real reason why the same people who encourage sex work for women, but demonize the men who use it, is deep down They know it’s not real work. Deep down in a place they do not want to admit to, they know it is not empowerment or sex positive. they don’t feel “comfortable”, they are dissociating from reality. Men are free to swear off dating. But swearing off dating mean swearing off sex. And they’re free to go to sex workers, but shouldn’t be surprised when they’re arrested and publicly ridiculed


Probably the same reason women are mocked for having an only fans yet men still watch them


When have men ever been mocked for paying for prostitutes or going to strip clubs. Men don't have to worry about having deep fakes made of them in sexual situations. Men also didn't/don't have to worry about their faces or nudes being posted on revenge porn websites. Also, I've seen so, so, so many men making onlyfans accounts and becoming onlyfans "models" (that sounds so fucking stupid). Maybe not at the rate women do but there's a definite increase in men doing it. Also, the notion is that men who go to prostitutes are too lame to pursue a woman in the usual way, which isn't terrible. However, there is also the notion that (some) men that do go to prostitutes do so to abuse them since prostitutes don't have safety nets for their work. I personally don't know of any man that has gone to prostitutes but I do know plenty of men that have gone to strip clubs. The way they talk about women can he a good indicator of the type of men they are. As for women, we've always been criticized for being prude or overtly sexual. The whole Madonna-Whore complex has had a grip on society for so long. I do think it's bad that younger women are going into sex work because ether think it's easy money but then again men are typically the ones to spend the most in terms of porn, sex work, etc. It's a supply versus demand issue in that case.


TIL women don’t get shamed for having OF. I see people shaming it every day, especially on this sub.


Both deserve mockery


Women get shamed and mocked for using OF.


Both get equally mocked. Nothing wrong with either.


I love underlying assumptions. You can tell what ppl are sensitive to. I would word this exactly backwards: “Why can men visit prostitutes but women get judged for OFs”


I’ll do you one better: why are both judged?


That’s what I’m saying though. I don’t think men are judged for visiting prostitutes. I do it. I don’t feel judged but it’s a matter of perspective


Because you should be shamed for slowly killing yourself, in the hopes that maybe some day you won't be


Having an OF and hiring a prostitute isn’t comparable


It's for the same reason we mock people who don't know how to change a tire but don't mock people who change tires for a living, or mock people who can't do very basic computer troubleshooting but don't mock tech support staff. Providing a service and using a service are different things.


If you actually pay attention, you'll notice that the people who argue for the validity of sex work generally *aren't* the same people who mock people for using sex work. Your question is like saying, "Why is it that it’s ok for someone to smoke weed, but people get called addicts and stoners for using drugs?" The people saying that smoking weed is fine are not the same people saying that smoking weed is bad.


> why it is ok for women to have onlyfans, but men get mocked for using prostitutes. You mean it would be OK for your mother, sister, wife to have casual conversations about their onlyfans business during family Thanksgiving get together, but your uncle would be shamed for visiting a prostitute? I don’t know where you are from but in my circle of friends/family women and men would be discreet about both practices.


You actually think men get ostracized more in this scenario? be real. Go fuck a sex worker and don't tell the whole world. No one, aside from high schoolers, tells the world about every sexual experience they have. Just do it and keep on with your life. wtf.


Bruh most people online are clowning on OnlyFans girls nobody is praising them like you say they are. It's so stupid when people make up non existing "problems" to make some kind of useless point.


>Nobody is praising them like you said That cannot be further from the truth. Many people support OFs creators, more than just those who follow them for content


Cause they're just not the same thing. Onlyfans is just taking pics of your body for cash. It's nasty, but it's not as desperate as paying a woman to fuck you IRL. They are just 2 very different things. Better comparison would be that buying an OF shouldn't be seen as creepy if you're ok with people posting on OF.


What? It’s totally different, one is physical touch, could spread disease…. The other is through a screen, if the guys were getting crap for subscribing, that would be the double standard.


I'm pretty sure men get crap for subscribing. Often referred to as "simps".


in my opinion they should, they are enabling their own hell. They would be better off hiring an escort tbh.


In my opinion, I feel like the "taking advantage" roll is turned around. It's just as much women using their sexuality to take money from vulnerable lonely men. It used to be a thing with sex phone lines, later webcam sites, now only fans.


I think both subscribers and creators on OF are mocked/slut shamed at about the same rate


I'd say that's hardly a difference that necessitates shame


Seriously, **Why is it that it’s ok for men to have Onlyfans, but women get mocked for using gigolos (or worse multiple sex partners)??**


I don’t think it’s okay to mock but conservatives may consider it to be degenerate and something to be discouraged because it decays society. Meanwhile, people who are not necessarily conservative will mock it because they feel it’s lazy or desperate, not because of any concept of morality.


Simple. Power dynamic. Women with an OnlyFans have the power. In sex work, the women still have the power. It would be more accurate to mock men who pay for sex in general. I don't think we should, but it would be more accurate.


Umm, you do know most prostitutes are being sex trafficked. Right? Not much power there.


First, you are talking about one aspect of sex work, and your numbers are way off. Sex trafficking is a problem for certain, but only because skidmark white dudes in power want it to be. Second... So, how do you fix that? Maybe by fucking legalizing it and giving them access to, oh I don't know, the same rights as workers not ostracized by puritanical idiots? Ultimately it is the dynamic between the woman and the man in the act. Remove the shit stain puritanical conservatives, and things improve significantly for the woman. Are you pro pimp?


Idk. I have zero respect for a dude that subs to OF. Simping is a plague on this earth. It gives useless people the impression they have inherent value just for existing and knowing how to use a camera. I don't hate the girls taking advantage of them though.


Do you see all of the hate that OF models get?


Yes, which is why is said: > While this isn’t totally accepted by our society, it does have a large and vocal backing, especially by the younger generations. Please read thoroughly


The same reason why "being fat is beautiful" but if you tell a woman she looks like lizzo or she's fat she'll flip tf out. Hypocrisy, my guy.


It's clear that a huge segment of the population absolutely does NOT think it's okay for a woman to have an OnlyFans. I'm not sure why you're pretending everyone approves of it 100% when that isn't the case, outside of certain spaces. Sex workers have never been looked at positively in society, and men have always been more understood for taking advantage of these "services" than the actual service providers.


*sigh* > While this isn’t totally accepted by our society, it does have a large and vocal backing, especially by the younger generations. Once again I did not say that everyone approves of it. I very *specifically* said our society doesn’t, but a good sized group does. Please learn to read




Didn’t say the weren’t


Because one is making money and your ass is spending it.


I’m not spending anything my dude, got no reason to


Men don’t get mocked for using prostitutes. Where did OP get that from?


From seeing people being mocked… here on Reddit too


If you think women aren't mocked for having an onlyfans you aren't living in reality.


Didn’t say that. Jesus Christ can you read? > While this isn’t totally accepted by our society, it does have a large and vocal backing, especially by the younger generations


Women get mocked for OF too (for example, all these comments). It’s because American society has puritan roots and is very weird about sex generally. In reality, both are fine. The only instance in which it wouldn’t be pay for men to hire sex workers is if he’s mistreating them and using the vulnerability of their occupation against them.