Let me tell you something, I haven't even begun to peak.

And when I do peak, you'll know. Because I'm gonna peak so hard that everybody in Philadelphia's gonna feel it.

I am a golden god!

I!!!! I!!!

I think about this quote all the time. The amount of times I feel unsure of myself, this quote pops into my head.

Hey, champ... Just... Maybe don't use Dennis as a role model, okay? Be confident for sure, but it would be really cool if you didn't emulate literally any of his other character traits. Alright, stay golden, bud. Hugs and kisses.

Oh please - like you’d be in danger…

He’s not even his type amirite 🤪

So they are in danger?!

Sounds like a guy who doesn't want to get off.

Because of the implication?

I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly! 😂

Let’s settle this right now Terry, peacocks can’t fly

this isn't even my final form

Mm. I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves! Begone, vile man! Begone from me!

I’m a 5-Star man!

A small task I have to do at work is mark customers as 0-20 or 21+. I have a sticky note on my computer that just says '2002' because my brain just will not believe someone born in 2001 is over 15

people born in 2005 are 18 now

I don't want to be old pls no

Trust me, the older you get the less you give a shit. Its very liberating. Edit: And I don't mean just about getting old, I mean about everything.

The older you get the worse you get at guessing people's ages

This is the goddamn truth. I'm 43 and 30-year-olds look like high school kids to me it's fuckin weird.

I have found that, since I reached my 30s, people that are in their 20s look like teenagers.

I'm in my 30s. We had a 20yo start at work last week. She looks like a high school kid.

You know what’s great about high school kids? You keep getting older, but they stay the same age!

All right all right all right

I know what you saying! Makes me feel so old !

My son was in the hospital for several months and twice they got new interns starting their residencies. They looked like teenagers at best. I was like… these *children* are providing medical care for my infant!? (I mean, I know they are supervised but still… it was unnerving seeing how young they were!). Now I keep going to doctors who are younger than I am. It was a weird crossover to experience.

The older I get the worse I get at guessing my age

the older I get the more I give a shit

The older I get the more I shit

I shit

My shit is old

Gotta start changing ur diapers quicker bud.

Well, that Depends

I'm constipated as fuck bro

Proof: old guys in the gym locker rooms

Good thing you put the edit - I thought you meant the older you get the more you don’t care about shitting yourself.

I remember the moment I stopped to care,it was the first time I heard YOLO now I curse at kids that get on my yard

We stop giving a shit because we don’t have the energy to give a shit, not because we want to stop giving a shit. I already miss my youthful passion and energy, and I’m not even that old yet.

People talk about having had energy in their 20s, and I want to know why I missed the memo. I've been tired since I was like 12. Mid 30s now, still tired.

The thing is, getting older is actually fucking awesome. So much stuff you worried about when you are younger turns out to mean fuck all. Being an adult rocks. Source:turns forty next week.

Time’s arrow marches forward. While I don’t enjoy my body randomly failing me I do look forward to being old. Can’t wait to be a curmudgeonly old coot who takes no bullshit and does as he pleases.

I am 32 and thats how Ive been operating for years.

Old is like 60+.

Gross

Holy fuck. Their *parents* might have been toddlers when I was 18. I'm sure that quite a few weren't even a twinkle in their momma's yet.

I’m 2005 and my parents are 1973

I was 13 when your parents were born,sigh.

Your my mums age!

Hi son

The comment above literally said how old you were and I still thought you were an actual child when you mentioned 2005...

Imagine when we get to 2028, people born 2010 being 18.

My oldest was born in 2007 and somehow is now turning 16 and applying for colleges. I'm just over here like wtf you were a baby a minute ago. And then I think back to when I was 16....the 90s were only 10 years ago right? RIGHT??

I'm born 2000 and I'm 23.

I remember New Year's Eve 1999/2000 with my family. I was 12.

I was 1999. The cashier only takes my ID as a courtesy. He sees me through there enough to know I'm allowed to buy vodka.

Me who was born on 31st December *laughs*

and I'm still 17! Such a shame.

I graduated high school the year you were born. Jesus.

Depressing

I'd finished my 6 year stint in the Army, gotten my degree, gotten married, and both our kids had started school by then. Fuck.

r/unexpectedfactorial

I was born near the beginning of 2004 and I am also 18, nearing on 19

Only a few of them

My 2007 brother is learning to drive

Or 19, said the 2004 baby.

There are full grown adults that are younger than a lot of peoples Steam or Xbox Live accounts.

I feel old

# NO NOT YET PLEASE

Look, i know it’s not your fault, but fuck you, i hate you.

Wait what? I’m 2006 and 16

Is your birthday later in the year? Jan 1st 2005 and December 31st 2006 are practically two years apart after all.

Fucking hell

No they aren’t. Go home with your wizardy tricks

Jokes on you, I'm still 17

I still can't believe "ten years ago" means 2000 and not the 1990s

*2010

Oh god

I worked at a bakery when I was 14. This woman there asked what year I was born, and I told her (early 90s), and she had this reaction like it was insane. She said the year was funny, and when I asked for clarification she couldn't really give me any. She was born in the 70s. I never really understood that until, years later, I had a new coworker who was born in 2000, and I suddenly understood that woman from back in the day. It blew my fuggin mind this grown ass adult was born when I was still chilling on my living room floor, playing ocarina of time on an N64 and waiting for my parents to go out so I could watch the unscrambled porn channel on the illegal cable box my dad got from some guy (as almost all morally ambiguous Dads did in the early 2000s, it seems).

Looooool yep. I remember going with my dad to get our cable box. There were lookouts at the corners of the house lol.

People born in 2013 are almost in middle school now

There are people born after 9/11 who are 21...

lmao. im a 2002 child, turning 21 proper in a few mounths. bout to enjoy my legal weed while i still can as im most likely gunna be working for the government.

2007 kids are 15/16

This is quite a post to read having been born in 1984

You ain't even 40 yet. Calm down whipper snapper.

I’ve always felt that “turning 40” is an arbitrary milestone that actually means nothing. It’s just another year.The last age that is significant is 25 for insurance purposes. But I’ll check back in 18 months to see if I’ve changed my tune

Your body will show you the true age related milestones in your life. "I guess this is just a thing I have to deal with now."

I say this all the time 😂 Except it’s “Did I just sleep wrong, or is this my life now?”

🤷‍♀️ after 40 your just even more tired and sore all the time. And you realize that you’re going to be tired and sore for the rest of your life. 40 is sort of the 1/2 way mark. That’s why it’s a “big” number. The whole “over the hill” thing. 28-35 is the best

I picked the wrong post to read today. I turn 40 in a few months. Lol

I got Michael Jackson's *Thriller* LP for my 13th birthday. It had come out the previous year. *sigh*

Damn, you were born in [redacted]

I'm curious. I was born in 1995, and the idea that there are adults who were born after 9/11 is mind-boggling to me. Do folks from the 80s feel the same way about the Berlin Wall, or the Gulf War or something? Is it just uncomfortable to know that someone nearly a decade younger than you is already an adult, because that means you've been an adult for nearly a decade yourself?

Yeah my grandpa said he felt a similar way we probably do regarding people born after 9/11 but with the Kennedy assassination. I suppose there is probably a similar reaction to people born after those milestones as well

It will be pre/post covid as a marker eventually.

I’m gonna freak the fuck out when I find out there’s adults that never experienced the pandemic.

Don't worry, we'll have a newer better pandemic by then.

Pandemic 2: Electric Boogaloo

"We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!"

Dude i was born in 86 and i also use 9/11... qhy would i know anything about the Berlin Wall or the Gulf war when i was 4??

Another 86er, the earliest thing that might work is that younger people dont remember a world pre-internet

I work in university admissions and have students applying for UG who were born in 2005. That is insane to me.

i’m 22 i was alive but i wasn’t even on solid food so i don’t remember.

Remembering 9/11 is definitely a generational thing. I'm 29 but I think anyone 25 or older would remember.

I threw all the hard candies at those idiot children.

I get all the juice i need from hard candy

Oysters or clams?

Get real sick off clams

Make the world your clam! It just sounds better

I could put another man's face on...If you give me your house key I could use some of your makeup

Do not break into my house and rape my wife

They kept calling me boomer even though I told them I was born in 1988 and when I tried to explain the difference, they started filming me and imitating my voice. Those McDonald's cashiers were mean!

You have caandy? Dennis has caandy?

You have *candy*?

Phenomenal character

Definitely a finisher character

A character of gods, THE GOLDEN GOD!

Does anyone else feel like the past 5 years went by much quicker than any previous years?

I feel like the past 5 years lasted half my life. I'm 52.

You know I agree. In my mid 40s and time seems to go by really slow. I wonder if that’s the norm when middle age? I feel like my 20s and 30s flew by but my 40s seem to slow down. A lot.

That's a good thing right? I'm in my early 30s and high school to now seems like it flew by. I want things to slow down lol.

44 here. The best way I can sum up my experience of time right now is that the days seem really long but the years seem really short.

welcome to getting older

I guess it's part of the human experience to continuously and without end witness people get surprised by the fact that christmas comes around quicker and quicker every year.

Not to be a nerd, but days have been getting shorter due to massive earthquakes that caused the poles to shift and cause the days to shorten by milliseconds. So technically, yea time is moving faster

*4 year old me walking out with two 6 packs and a bottle of vodka*

In soviat Russia

Ageing is unfair, I need about 260 years to grow up and become capable of making decent life decisions

This is anti-"90's kids" propaganda...we're still young...^😢

we are... Right?

Totally, totally. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to rewind some videotapes

Wait for me, imma join you. Now, where are my goddamn glasses?

They fell to the floor. I’d get them for you but my back hurts

Here let me grab it for you. AHHH I SLIPPED A DISK

>AHHH I SLIPPED A DISK A floppy disk?

*finger guns then goes back to clutching my back in pain while on the ground laying in a pool of my own tears*

If you’re ganna be spilling your tears all over the floor you should really put up a sign… someone might slip and hurt their hip.

I would help but my knees are hurting so bad walking is an option

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

I’ll be right back, gunna take my n64 game and blow on it. Then stick it back in.

Did you borrow my CD player again? You better have put new batteries in it this time

Vice City came out 20 years ago

Fuck you

That song came out 13 years ago

Fuck you.

Oh come off it, I played that while I was in high school. That would mean th…oh :(

Well holy shit

Yes we are my little Viking. Everything is pipe!

1995 was just ten years ago, am I right?

More like fifteen, I think

*Surely* no more than 20. I mean, I was born in '95, and I'm pretty sure I just graduated high school like 2 years ago

[удалено]

Next year is my 20th reunion and I consider myself a 90s kid as I was born in 85. Wasn't really old enough to experience much of the 80s.

I told my 13 year old nephew to give me a call if he has a hard time adjusting to high school this year seen as it wasn’t that long ago since I was there… only 10 short years ago.

Here I am, doing everything I can. Holding on of what I am, pretending I'm a superman.

For me it isn’t getting carded since I don’t drink so it barely happens. It’s when I’m browsing the internet and it wants me to put in my date of birth and I actually have to *scroll down*. That’s the internet’s version of carding someone.

It's being able to select my actual birth year for me. Don't have to lie anymore.

*born in the 1900s*

Can’t wait until 2100 to tell everyone how awesome the 1900s were.

you can already do that, just tell people how awesome the *1800s* were!

About 4 years ago I was on a news shoot about a local Children's hospital, doc asks little girl "how old are you?" She says "I'm 8" and doc was like "ok born 2011..." That fucked me up I for some reasons though 8 yos would be born 06-07 and bam they are born in the 10s now.

I just a second remembered that it was 2023 now and was about to comment "4 years?"

Can't please people though. Cashier doing their job: Underage: c'mon don't look too close.....(intensity increases) About the age: Here's my I.D. check that bad boy I'm legit! Over age: stupid cashier, learn how to read every person in the world no matter what their demographic background. Kids these days so stupid. Old AF: Oh my goodness, I haven't been asked since Nam. Hehe, let me find it I'm so excited. There y'all go, whole cashier experience for checking IDs in a nutshell. Also, LEAVE THE FUCKING CASHIER ALONE! Take your baggage drama elsewhere. It's their job, they could give a rats queef if they check or not.

The worst is self checkout when they have to come over to check age on w.e and they look at you and click the button that says “visibly over 25” 😭😭😭

An interaction that stuck with me for years: Its a Tuesday morning, finally have a day off Go to get some wine since I hadn't drank in months and I had a particularly rough last few days There's a small grocery shop just down the road, so I don't bother changing out of my pajamas Find a big bottle for cheap, grab it No cashier lines, go to self checkout Worker comes up, immediately scans her ID and goes to leave Weakly say "don't you need to see my id?" She turns around, looks me up and down, laughs, and walks away Absolutely killed my 23yo me's self esteem, but in hindsight I don't blame her lol

But he's a Golden God!

Cashier: When's your birthday? Me: 88 Cashier: 1988? Me: No 1888 I'm a vampire bitch.

Lmao 🤣

I'm a cashier I glance, and if your birth year starts with a 1 you're good.

Shit our IDs turn sideways when someone turns 21 so you don’t even need to check the date

It's funny.... because of the implications.

I kinda wish I would get carded to be honest

I’m a bouncer. Show me your ID.

Can you bounce me up and down?

Yes. But I won’t.

I'm 35 and recently noticed that the only time I get carded is when I'm wearing a hat. Because it covers up my old ass bald head.

I haven't been carded in more than a decade. It's kinda depressing... The last time it happened, I wanted to kiss the waitress, but my wife and kids thought she was far too young...

I think if you said “yeah i saw the 19--" it woukd make more sense

Thanks! I would've never understood what they were saying if I hadn't scrolled all the way down to your comment.

I started a job last year and it’s the first time I’ve had to check ID’s and it’s humbling/encouraging at the same time. Sometimes I see people born in 2005 and I’m like FUCK I’m old and then I see people looking absolutely battered and they’re born a year after me and it makes me feel better. I also take note of the fashion trends of the 18/19 year olds and that definitely makes you feel your age.

Welp, thanks for making me feel old 8 minutes after getting up

I think they just see the look of defeat in my eyes and assume that, if I'm somehow under 21, I need the whiskey more than anyone else anyway.

Yesterday I was carded at the grocery store buying beer, he took one look and then entered 1/1/1999 into the computer and I just about shriveled into a raisin

I thought about that the other day. When a story from the 1920’s comes up and you see the person in the story 1874 and you realize you were born in 1974.

I like being 32. I've so wanted to reach that point where people dismiss you because you're old. Now I'm left alone in peace. My gf (31) on the other hand is going through it lol. She hates being reminded she's not in her 20s anymore

Just wait til they stop asking for it at all. I’m only 29 and I haven’t been ID’d for 5 years or so

What really makes you feel old is when they stop checking your ID.

Who else born in the late 1900s

Everyone born in the 1900s felt that

People born in 2019:

I'm in my 50s and I look my age. I really get irritated when I get carded.

I'm 30 and look 18. I got asked what grade I was in a couple years ago.

Wouldn't the 1 be enough?

The other day some 20 year old that looked 18 pressed the button on self checkout to allow me to buy alcohol. She pressed "No" on, "Is the customer under 40?". ​ Part of me wanted to fuck her mom for that.

I haven’t been ask for a card in a decade. That when you feel old.

I had a fault at work this week caused by people who were born in 2004, which was a leap year, turning nineteen this year. I feel old.